During a recent visit to my son’s speech therapist, whom I affectionately refer to as The Communication Specialist, I took a moment to observe from a plastic chair across the room. My son was participating in his first session aimed at addressing his lateral lisp. The therapist introduced a game that resembled a bingo board, filled with circular indentations and images of differently colored snakes. Beside this board lay an assortment of colored chips.
As the session began, the therapist prompted my son, “Can you say ‘Ta’ for me? Like this: ‘Ta, ta.’” He attempted to mimic her, “Ta, ta.” The game involved saying the sounds and earning chips to place on the board as a reward, with the goal of filling all the spaces. Simple enough, right?
Surprisingly, my son struggled—not with articulating the sounds or maintaining focus, but with the very premise of the game. When he earned his first chip, he inquired where to place it. The therapist replied that he could choose any spot. Confused, he asked multiple times, until he finally decided on a location. What struck me was his insistence on matching the colored chip to the corresponding snake on the board. If no matching snake was available, he would again seek guidance on where to put it. It became evident that he craved a structured approach, preferring order even in a seemingly carefree game.
Weeks later, during our return trip from vacation, we stopped at a gas station where a display of ceramic bells caught his eye. The tinkling sounds filled the air as he organized the blue bells in a row, refusing to leave until the task was complete.
This behavior mirrored my own need for order and structure in daily life, which often leads to feelings of anxiety when plans fall through or spontaneity arises. Have I unwittingly influenced my son’s behavior through my own tendencies? Or is his need for structure an inherent trait?
For three years, our routine has been consistent, with mornings starting promptly at 7:30 a.m. on weekdays and a structured schedule at daycare. By maintaining my career, I have exposed my son to the predictability of adult life, where time and purpose govern actions.
Would our dynamic be different if I were a stay-at-home mother? It’s an unanswerable question, but I recognize the importance of breaking away from our structured routine. My son has subtly reminded me of the necessity for spontaneity and the joy it can bring.
As a parent, I must remember to carve out moments for fun and unexpected adventures—perhaps indulging in ice cream before dinner or taking a spontaneous drive to admire holiday lights. While my son may not yet exhibit my obsessive tendencies, I still have time to instill in him a love for the unpredictable. Perhaps I will learn to appreciate it myself. One thing is for sure: I will make it a point to utilize my vacation days, for they offer invaluable moments of respite that far exceed mere hours of work.
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In summary, fostering spontaneity in parenting can lead to richer experiences for both parents and children. It is essential to recognize the balance between structure and the unpredictable joys of life, which can nurture creativity and joy in family dynamics.
Keyphrase: Importance of Spontaneity in Parenting
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