Updated: Feb. 8, 2017 | Originally Published: Nov. 30, 2016
Parenting has taken a toll on my cognitive abilities. I’m not referring to the phenomenon known as “mommy brain,” which typically affects new mothers due to sleep deprivation. My children have grown; they are now at an age where they can reason and understand consequences. They should, in theory, require less oversight than infants. Yet, I find myself grappling with the simplest concepts on a daily basis.
Just the other day, as we rushed to leave for an obligation, I fumbled through my thoughts, blundering out, “Where’s my… um, bag? The leather… the one I put my stuff in. Ugh! Where is it? I left it right here on the… where we eat. Gah!”
Purse. Table. Basic English. Am I losing my mind? No, I blame parenthood. That jumbled sentence emerged amidst a whirlwind of chaos—reminders to put on shoes, questions about my daughter’s frequent trips to the restroom, and scolding my son for leaving milk out yet again. The distractions are endless; why are all the lights on upstairs?
This scenario is not isolated. Increasingly, I find myself frustrated by the sheer volume of mental energy devoted to managing my children: reprimanding, guiding, comforting, planning, and even filling out forms. I expected parenthood to be monumental, filled with sacrifice, but some aspects are unfathomable until you’re entrenched in the experience.
I never anticipated spending a half hour untangling a knot or being interrupted while working because one child managed to get their head stuck under the couch, or having to halt everything because an entire roll of toilet paper ended up in a toilet filled with… well, let’s just say, it was less-than-pleasant.
The incessant sounds my kids make—singing, humming, banging, yodeling—make it nearly impossible to think. How can one maintain clarity amid such noise? I long for the days when my thoughts flowed freely, when I could engage with complex ideas and devote time to intellectual pursuits.
Now, I’d settle for any uninterrupted thought. I can’t even finish a coherent sentence before I’m interrupted. Just as I typed the word “thought,” my daughter rushed in exclaiming, “Mommy! You know how you have that jiggly stuff on your leg? That’s all muscle so you can hold yourself up!” Adorable, yes, but I’m trying to concentrate here!
Do other parents of older children face similar challenges? Is it just me? I do encourage my kids to entertain themselves and solve their own problems, but even that requires a significant investment of my time and creativity. By the time they finally leave me alone, I’m often too drained to engage in the deeper thinking I crave.
Then, of course, the moment my mind starts to clear, I hear the familiar sounds of arguments, crashes, or crying, snapping me back into the chaos. Recently, during a fleeting moment of quiet, I asked my partner how anyone could handle more than two children. He reminded me that one day, I’d miss this frantic phase—when the silence would feel heavier than the noise ever did. While I know he’s right, the challenge lies in finding the mental space to appreciate these moments.
Until that serene day arrives, I will continue the battle. I’ll seek out moments of calm, keep my office door locked, and gently shoo my lovely children away when I need time to think. At least, until the next adventure of someone getting stuck somewhere arises.
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Summary
Parenthood can drain mental capacity, even as children grow older and more independent. The constant demands—from managing chaos to interacting with children—leave little room for uninterrupted thoughts. While the challenges can feel overwhelming, moments of reflection and appreciation are essential amidst the noise.
Keyphrase: Mental clarity in motherhood
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