In the realm of marriage, the concept of love often requires a proactive approach to truly flourish. As illustrated in Stephen Covey’s influential book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the essence of love can be encapsulated in a compelling dialogue: a man expresses his fading feelings for his wife, prompting Covey to respond, “Love her.” The man counters, “But the feeling isn’t there,” to which Covey replies, “Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.” This exchange emphasizes that love, fundamentally, is a verb—it necessitates action and intent.
In 2003, I met my partner, Jamie, in a hardware store. She was the gardening expert, and I held the title of gardening manager. Our relationship sparked excitement, as we were technically not supposed to date. We would often steal moments away, sharing kisses in quiet corners of the store. Initially, love felt effortless, fueled by attraction and chemistry. However, over the years, as we settled into our lives and welcomed three children, our connection took on a different form. Now, evenings often consist of us sharing the couch, one of us engrossed in a laptop while the other scrolls through a tablet, the ambiance punctuated by the hum of a show on television.
It is in these moments, where physical proximity does not equate to emotional closeness, that one can question the vitality of love. The idea that love can fade raises the concern that it might be as uncontrollable as a self-driving car, veering off course without notice. However, the reality is that love is sustained through deliberate actions. Falling out of love is, in essence, a result of inaction.
To love is to engage in countless gestures: sending sweet texts, making phone calls to show you care, sharing warm embraces, and planning date nights. It’s about stepping up when your partner needs support—be it caring for the kids, finding common ground in disagreements, or managing everyday responsibilities. Love is about the small things: washing your partner’s work clothes when they’re pressed for time, proofreading their essays, or taking care of the children while they pursue personal interests. It is a conscious decision to appreciate the journey together, even when faced with frustrations.
As noted by relationship expert Sheryl Paul, many individuals abandon solid, loving relationships because their lived experience does not align with idealized societal expectations. She advocates for a shift in perspective, from the narrative of “you complete me” to one that emphasizes mutual growth and inspiration.
While Jamie and I may not always excel at these actions, I recognize her love through her efforts, just as she perceives mine. True, enduring love is not characterized by euphoric highs but rather by intentionality, sacrifice, and a commitment to navigate the complexities of life together.
In conclusion, love demands an active role. Marriage is not just about the initial spark; it’s about the ongoing effort to choose love daily, despite imperfections and challenges.
For those interested in exploring family growth options, check out this insightful resource on home insemination kits, as well as expert guidance on IVF.
Summary
Marriage requires love to be an action rather than merely a feeling. Through intentional gestures and sacrifices, couples can nurture their connection and grow together. Love is about making conscious choices despite challenges, ensuring that the relationship remains strong and vibrant.
Keyphrase: Love as an Action in Marriage
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]