“We have an alternative option right here,” the attendant at the booth sang cheerfully. My gaze fell upon the small glass bowl filled with Hershey’s miniatures, and I felt a wave of resignation wash over me.
“I appreciate it, but my children can’t have any,” I replied, my sons standing in a line behind me, firm in the belief that they were forbidden from indulging.
“Why is that?” she inquired, a familiar question that often treads the line between genuine concern and skepticism. Perhaps she assumed I was a strict parent unwilling to indulge my children, eager for a debate.
“They have a milk intolerance,” I explained.
“Oh dear! Aren’t they well-behaved not to reach for it? We definitely don’t want anyone ending up in the hospital!”
While her understanding of intolerance was a bit off, I appreciated her relief at my lack of draconian parenting. But really, what kind of parent says no to candy? Who turns down a Krackle bar?
I do. I say no repeatedly—one for each child—because I know how that Krackle bar would unfold: for the first six hours, they’d appear fine. Then, my eldest would morph into a screaming, chaotic whirlwind—yelling “I hate you, Mom!” just before hitting his younger brother, probably with something heavy.
Meanwhile, my middle child would erupt in a series of tantrums. No, he wouldn’t eat his PB&J. No, he wouldn’t buckle into his seat. No, he wouldn’t stop kicking the dog, nor would he cease tormenting his brother.
As for my youngest, he would just cry. And cry. And cry.
This scenario also plays out with gluten and food dyes. Identifying these sensitivities took considerable time, especially with milk, which they’ve been intolerant to since birth. That was a straightforward diagnosis, as noted by Reflux Rebels, who describe symptoms like “excessive gassiness and bloating” along with irritability and severe reflux.
My kids have outgrown many of these symptoms, except for the persistent fussiness and irritability mentioned by Reflux Rebels. They also contend with non-celiac gluten intolerance, experiencing symptoms similar to those of celiac disease, including cognitive fog, depression, and behaviors akin to ADHD, as detailed by the Celiac Disease Foundation regarding non-celiac wheat sensitivity.
Recent years have seen increased concern over the connection between food dyes and behavioral issues in children, particularly those with ADHD.
An accidental exposure to milk, gluten, or dye can derail an entire weekend. My husband and I end up wiped out, lying on the bed, while I lament our children’s monstrous behavior, and he reassures me it’s just the milk. We’ve learned to trace back the source of their reactions—who knew that some German sausages contained milk?
In response, I’ve adopted a somewhat annoying tendency to inquire about everything. Do those vegetables include butter? Is there milk in the scrambled eggs? Does the gluten-free bun truly meet the standard? I’m always vigilant. If I didn’t prepare it, I must confirm its ingredients. This habit occasionally frustrates my husband, especially when I ask about milk in scrambled eggs at a diner where it’s never included. But I’ve witnessed restaurants alter their recipes midweek, and the resulting consequences have been too severe to ignore.
These intolerances mean my children miss out on typical childhood treats. They’ve never experienced the joy of a Krackle bar or a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. They cannot devour M&M’s or guzzle most sodas (we avoid all food dyes to be safe). Every hamburger and hotdog lacks a bun. And Halloween? It’s a nightmare. Almost every candy contains either milk, gluten, or food dye.
So, when they can have a treat, they enjoy it—frequently. My kids have a fondness for dark, bitter chocolate—the kind that most children shy away from because it lacks milk. They delight in Trader Joe’s meringues and coconut macaroons. I keep a stash of safe candy and trade it for mainstream options: organic gummy worms for regular gummies, real strawberries for Nerds. For every birthday party they attend, I bake safe cakes so that while their peers indulge in the traditional treats, my children have their own special dessert. It’s a hassle, but I do it for them.
Yes, it’s disheartening, as many people point out. And no, they cannot have “just a taste.” My mother thought I was overreacting until she witnessed the consequences of Blaise consuming butter. She quickly became a believer. Others often argue with me, assuming that because I refer to their conditions as “intolerances” instead of “allergies,” it’s open for debate. It’s not, unless they’re willing to manage my children’s behavior for the next 48 hours. So, I kindly decline their offers of orange soda.
When we first removed gluten from Blaise’s diet, due to his behavioral challenges and his younger brother’s sensitivity, we discreetly informed our regular waitress not to announce it. By the meal’s end, she remarked that if this was how he behaved without gluten, she’d never serve it to him again. I was grateful that someone else recognized the difference and validated my concerns.
Fortunately, substitutes are available for most food items—bread, waffles, sodas, and candies. Trader Joe’s even offers gluten- and milk-free Oreos and soy ice cream. All in all, my kids don’t miss out on too much, considering the circumstances.
But they cannot consume many mainstream foods, so please refrain from offering them. And don’t pressure me to let them try. Yes, a taste would indeed cause harm. No, I’m not an overprotective mom; I’m simply prioritizing my children’s well-being. I wouldn’t survive their meltdowns if I didn’t.
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In summary, navigating food intolerances is a significant challenge for my family. My children miss out on many conventional treats, yet we’ve adapted by finding suitable alternatives. My vigilant approach to their dietary restrictions is vital for maintaining their health and wellbeing. As a parent, my priority is to ensure their happiness and safety, even if it means saying no to tempting treats.
Keyphrase: children’s food intolerances
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