Navigating My Child’s Apraxia: Confronting My Inner Overachiever

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For the first 32 years of my life, I was the quintessential overachiever. I was driven to excel academically, maintain an impeccable driving record, and conquer levels on games like Candy Crush. As my daughter’s birth approached, I envisioned nurturing a prodigious child who would recognize all her colors before her first birthday and dive into chapter books by age 4—or maybe 5, just to be realistic.

In her initial year, I eagerly marked each developmental milestone, celebrating her achievements that came sooner than expected. At 17 months, she proudly displayed a complete set of baby teeth. I was convinced she was destined for greatness. Rolling over, sitting up, eating solid foods, walking—I was already searching for flights to Stockholm for her future Nobel Prize acceptance!

A few weeks shy of her first birthday, we spent time with a friend’s son, slightly older and already mastering the alphabet. My competitive side ignited: If he could do it, so could my daughter! Yet, as she turned 15 months, there was still no sign of words.

At 18 months, while her peers were showcasing their growing vocabularies—identifying animals, household items, and family members—my daughter had only attempted to say “Momma,” which emerged as “Mamamamama.” I was left puzzled. Why was she silent? Shouldn’t she be reading by now? Medical professionals reassured me that many children are late talkers, advising patience, but I craved the moment of astonishment at her second birthday when she would recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

After her second birthday, we took a deeper dive into understanding her communication challenges. Terms like “autism” and “deafness” surfaced during our consultations with various specialists. Eventually, we arrived at a diagnosis that resonated: apraxia. I had to confront the reality that my daughter wouldn’t be the standout speaker in her Sunday school class and wouldn’t utter intelligible words until after her third birthday. It took six months of speech therapy just for her to begin grasping the letter “B.”

Apraxia challenged my overachieving nature, halting the aspirations I had for her. How could I teach her 200 sight words before kindergarten if I struggled to comprehend her sounds? How would I assess her counting abilities when she communicated primarily with vowels? How could she deliver a valedictorian speech if she couldn’t articulate her thoughts?

Now, eight months post-diagnosis, this spirited girl has imparted a profound lesson: she is charting her own course. Any accolades I envisioned for her, no matter how appealing, may not materialize. Apraxia lacks a clear milestone timeline; it’s all uncertain. I find this disheartening. I thrive on measurable goals, checklists, and timelines. I often wish someone could predict when my daughter might sync with her peers, even though I realize she may never fully catch up.

While progress remains vital, I recognize that her most significant achievement won’t be the moment she finally pronounces a word with a consonant sound. In my eyes, she’s an overachiever already. Each day, she confronts a disability that complicates a fundamental human function—speaking. Rather than shying away, she embraces her circumstances. She is socially vibrant, loves to sing, adores books, and makes friends effortlessly.

My daughter’s journey has taught me to slow down and appreciate her life as it unfolds. I’m learning to release my expectations and appreciate her for who she truly is. I refuse to squander moments wishing for a childhood that fits my vision. Instead, I choose to walk alongside her, at her pace, in her time.

The path with apraxia may be lengthy, but who knows? There may still be a valedictorian speech waiting for her at the end of this journey. For more insights on navigating parenthood and family life, check out this resource for pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re looking into home insemination options, visit Make a Mom’s BabyMaker for valuable guidance or check out their Cryobaby kit for expert solutions.

Summary:

This article explores the journey of parenting a child with apraxia, highlighting the challenges faced by a mother who is an overachiever. As her expectations clash with reality, she learns to embrace her daughter’s unique timeline and celebrates her spirit and resilience, realizing that true achievements are about growth, connection, and accepting one’s path.

Keyphrase: My Child’s Apraxia
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