By: Jennifer Taylor
Updated: December 21, 2020
Originally Published: November 2, 2016
It was a typical day scrolling through social media when I stumbled upon a post from an old acquaintance, someone I hadn’t connected with in years. He had become quite the fitness enthusiast and motivational speaker. As I read his announcement about the birth of his child, it struck me hard: he shared a photo of the birthing center, emphasizing his wife had “crushed it” during labor. The image showed his wife looking glamorous, complete with makeup, and the newborn dressed in delicate attire, captioned “About an hour after!”
My initial reaction was a surge of frustration, prompting me to comment, “Congrats! Amazing she had time for makeup and a dressed baby just an hour after giving birth!” He quickly corrected me, stating it was more like 90 minutes.
I understand that social media often presents a skewed version of reality, and that polished image was just a fraction of the experience. It took me a while to pinpoint what truly troubled me. Dressing a newborn in lace and putting on makeup shortly after giving birth might seem trivial, but the term “crushed” raised significant concerns. The language of competition embedded in that word implies a victory over an opponent. Birth is not a contest to be won; it’s a natural process, not something to conquer. If one can dominate childbirth, it suggests that childbirth can also defeat you.
While I’m sure my friend’s wife managed her natural birth admirably, I couldn’t help but wonder: what if she had requested an epidural? What if she had cried out in pain or said she couldn’t continue? These reactions are common during labor. The reality is that delivering a baby can be intensely painful. If “crushing” natural childbirth means you experience none of these challenges, then it sets a dangerous precedent.
By defining success in childbirth as “crushing” it, we inadvertently undermine other forms of delivery. Let’s clarify: all childbirth is natural, regardless of how the baby arrives. But if we’re using “natural” to refer specifically to unmedicated births, it implies that those who require medication or a C-section have somehow fallen short. This competitive mindset turns what should be a shared experience into a judgement of worth.
Consider mothers who face difficult situations, such as a baby in the NICU, or those who choose to induce labor due to health concerns. Did they fail at childbirth? What about mothers who scream through their home births? I personally experienced a transfer from a birth center to a hospital due to pain. The midwife doubted my husband’s concerns, but the reality was that I was too exhausted and unwell to continue. Once at the hospital, I was treated for severe dehydration, received an epidural, and after three arduous hours of pushing, I delivered a healthy baby boy. It was a lengthy, exhausting ordeal, yet it was also a moment of immense wonder.
Did I “crush” birth? Absolutely not. My experience was no less valid than anyone else’s. Labor is a shared journey; when we frame it as competition, we lose sight of the collective struggle and triumph of motherhood.
We need to shift our language surrounding childbirth. Instead of saying someone “crushed” their birth, we should celebrate their experience—whether it was magical or challenging. Every woman deserves recognition for the effort she puts into bringing life into the world, regardless of how it occurs. The real victory in childbirth is bringing forth a healthy baby, and regardless of the path taken, every mother’s journey is equally significant.
For those exploring their options in this journey, one of our other blog posts discusses the process of home insemination kits which can be a great resource. You can check out Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit as an authority on this topic. If you’re interested in understanding more about assisted reproductive technology, this article offers excellent insights.
In conclusion, the essence of childbirth is not rooted in competition but in the shared experience of motherhood. Each woman’s journey is unique and deserving of respect.
Keyphrase: childbirth competition
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]