What Followed My Child’s Mental Health Assessment

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By: Jamie Parker

Date: October 17, 2023

Following a session with the psychologist, I was greeted with the question, “How are you holding up?” This inquiry has become all too common in my life since my child’s mental health evaluation, posed by caring friends, family members, and even my partner. I appreciate their concern, yet I often find myself at a loss for words.

The previous weeks, or rather months, have been a blur of emotional upheaval and behavioral challenges. We have navigated through various medications, some proving effective while others fell short. Countless consultations with doctors and therapists culminated in a thorough neuropsychiatric evaluation at one of the leading children’s hospitals in the country.

After several days filled with assessments, parent questionnaires, and interviews, we received a comprehensive diagnosis for my 10-year-old son. His generalized anxiety disorder was confirmed, along with newly diagnosed ADHD and a mood disorder. As we left the hospital, I held his hand tightly, aware of the bustling city around us, feeling a profound sense of unease.

Returning home, the chaos of our kitchen awaited us, unchanged from the morning. My eldest child was eager to share his newfound knowledge about flightless fruit flies, while my partner was focused on catching up on work after taking significant time off.

I have repeatedly stated that when your child receives a mental health diagnosis, life does not suddenly transform. The only true shift is within your heart — it becomes forever altered.

The meltdowns persist, sleepless nights remain a constant, and my child continues to suffer. Treatment takes time to initiate and even longer to yield results. I often remind myself of the months it took before my eldest son began to experience relief. Patience is key, even when it feels interminable.

The hardest part of this limbo between diagnosis and the onset of effective treatment is witnessing my son’s anguish, coupled with the helplessness of being unable to alleviate it. As a mother, the instinct to act is strong, and yet doing nothing seems overwhelmingly wrong. It requires a level of courage and faith I sometimes doubt I possess.

Strategies for Navigating These Challenging Times

In this period of uncertainty, I have identified a few strategies to help us navigate these challenging times:

  1. Take a Step Back:
    Adjustments are essential — in our schedules, expectations, and responsibilities. We are firmly in survival mode, and it’s important to recognize that.
  2. Be Present for Your Other Children:
    My eldest son is currently thriving, making it tempting to focus solely on my newly diagnosed child. However, he requires reassurance and understanding as he grapples with his brother’s changes. It’s crucial to show him he remains a priority, even amidst the chaos.
  3. Engage in Prayer:
    I find solace in prayer, whether it’s the heartfelt cries for healing or the silent pleas for strength. These moments of connection provide me with peace amidst the turmoil. I am reminded that my child is not alone; he is part of a larger plan, and his uniqueness is a part of that design.

As time progresses, I gain clearer insights into my son’s extraordinary mind. Despite the challenges presented by his diagnoses, his creativity, compassion, and vibrant spirit shine through. I refuse to selectively embrace only certain aspects of my child’s identity. I love him wholly, just as he is.

So, when asked, “How are you doing?” I know my response: I am loving him with all my heart.

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In summary, navigating a child’s mental health diagnosis is a complex and emotional journey. It requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to loving your child wholly.

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