It has been approximately eight years since my eldest son was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder (SPD) by a professional team of therapists. Before that diagnosis, I was unaware of SPD and its implications. At that time, my family life felt overwhelmingly chaotic. Each night, I would collapse into bed, utterly exhausted and disheartened. I often felt a profound sense of hopelessness.
Today, our circumstances have significantly transformed. My son, who once struggled with severe SPD and a substantial speech delay, has blossomed into a typical fifth-grade boy who loves to engage in conversation. My daughter often jokes that he’s now making up for the four years he spent without verbal communication. Additionally, my youngest son was diagnosed with SPD at 18 months; however, he no longer shows any symptoms.
Over the past six years, I have connected with thousands of families globally through my nonprofit, SPD Parent Connection. Many of them are just beginning their journeys and share the same feelings of despair that once enveloped me. I established SPD Parent Connection to ease the path for others who follow in my footsteps, offering them guidance and a glimmer of hope. Here are the lessons that I have learned and now share with these families:
1. Have Faith in Your Child
Every child needs at least one person to believe in them. I always thought that if I didn’t believe in my children, no one else would. Even in moments when it seems hopeless, hold onto that belief. Trust in their diagnosis, not their prognosis. Remind yourself that they are more than mere labels. Keep pushing forward and disregard negative opinions from those who don’t understand—amazing transformations can occur. When you believe, you take action, break down barriers, and inspire your child to believe in themselves.
2. Trust Yourself
Always follow your intuition. As parents, we often sense when something isn’t quite right with our children. Sometimes we second-guess ourselves due to well-intentioned advice from doctors or family. Regardless of outside influences, trust your instincts. While professionals have expertise, you are the foremost authority on your child. Act on your insights—sooner is better than later.
3. Build a Supportive Network
Finding a supportive community is crucial. The adage “it takes a village to raise a child” resonates deeply. It may take time to find the right people, but they are out there. When we discovered the right school and team, our children began to flourish. Seek out specialists who understand SPD, and connect with families experiencing similar challenges. You are not alone in this journey, and you are not losing your mind—you are doing something incredible. If you need help finding support, feel free to reach out for assistance.
4. Persevere
There are days when my children made progress, only to regress significantly the next. This can be disheartening, but therapists have reassured me that regression is part of the journey. Concentrate on the progress made rather than the distance left to travel. Each small step contributes to significant, lasting changes over time. Improvement requires effort!
5. Embrace Knowledge
Knowledge is a powerful ally. Strive to learn as much as possible about SPD to better assist your child. I spent countless nights researching SPD through various sources, which can initially feel overwhelming. Engaging with experts—parents, therapists, teachers, and doctors—can yield invaluable insights based on their experiences. This can help you avoid common pitfalls. For more information, visit the STAR Institute’s Research Page and Library.
6. Prioritize Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is one of the most challenging yet essential tasks. As parents of children with special needs, we often feel guilty for taking time for ourselves. Parenting a child with SPD can drain your energy. By prioritizing self-care, you allow yourself to recharge, helping you navigate the emotional ups and downs while being present for your family. It’s not selfish; it’s essential.
7. Engage in Their World
An early lesson from my daughter was to immerse myself in my son’s world. She often mirrored his actions, such as spinning alongside him when he needed sensory input. This connection allowed him to feel understood and helped him trust his environment. Follow your child’s lead and engage in their activities—embracing silliness can truly enhance their comfort in the world.
8. View Life Through Their Lens
By putting yourself in your child’s position, you can better comprehend their feelings and needs. Understanding why my son was a picky eater, resisted nail trimming, or screamed during hair washing became clearer once I grasped SPD. This perspective fosters patience and empathy.
9. Ignore the Critics
Many parents encounter naysayers, particularly from family and friends. During my children’s early years, unsolicited advice from strangers was common, and it often came from those closest to me. Remember that while their intentions may be good, they might not have accurate information. Focus on your beliefs and the guidance of experts instead.
10. Practice Gratitude
Shift your focus to what you have rather than what you lack. What we concentrate on expands. Emphasize the positive aspects of your life, and you will find more to be grateful for. No matter your circumstances, there is always something to appreciate. Others would envy your situation, so cherish your blessings.
Bonus Insight: Hope on the Horizon
In the first year following my son’s diagnosis, professionals often labeled him as one of the most severe cases they had encountered. He faced numerous challenges, including exclusion from preschool and various activities, leaving me fearful of his future. Fast forward eight years: he now thrives in a supportive school, participates in athletics, and has made many friends. I share this not to boast but to illustrate that progress is possible. Initially, my hopes for him were modest—simply to eat more than three foods, sleep through the night, and communicate verbally. I attribute his success to the implementation of the ten lessons mentioned above. We’re not perfect, nor is our journey flawless, but we are continuously evolving. If we can do this, so can you!
“Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It’s about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you’re lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.” — Joan Ryan, The Water Giver
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Summary
Parenting through sensory processing disorder presents unique challenges, but it also offers profound lessons in belief, perseverance, and gratitude. By surrounding yourself with understanding individuals, embracing knowledge, and focusing on self-care, you can navigate this journey more effectively. Remember, hope and improvement are always within reach.
Keyphrase: Sensory Processing Disorder Parenting Lessons
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