By: Charlotte Mitchell
Updated: May 27, 2021
Originally Published: Oct. 3, 2016
A few weeks ago, my eldest child experienced the thrill of skydiving. She soared into the sky with friends, leaping from a perfectly functional airplane while I, two hours away, anxiously checked my phone for updates on her safe return.
This is the essence of parenting. The moment I became a parent, my instinct was to ensure the safety of that tiny being. Almost immediately, my children seemed to revel in finding inventive ways to challenge that safety.
I took all the necessary precautions: electrical outlet covers, well-fitted car seats, securing chemicals under the sink, and having discussions about online safety, substance use, driving skills, and healthy relationships. Yet, despite my efforts, they managed to suffer broken limbs, minor accidents, and questionable decisions. From their first wobbly steps—right into the sharp corner of the coffee table—to the skinned knees from ambitious bike rides, it felt like I was perpetually trailing them with protective gear, only for them to discard it and create chaos.
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Once, when my baby was just three months old, I placed her down for a nap and decided to paint some window frames in our unfinished upstairs. My husband stopped by briefly for lunch but accidentally locked the door on his way out. When my baby began to stir, I rushed downstairs only to find myself trapped, without a phone and my child out of reach.
Panic set in. I contemplated the feasibility of jumping from the second story. I even attempted to break down the door (spoiler alert: it doesn’t work like in the movies). The only person nearby was a teenage boy playing basketball who, after much shouting and frantic waving, came to my rescue. Clearly, his parents hadn’t instilled the same fear of strangers I had.
This same child, when she was a toddler, had locked herself in her room, and I sat helplessly on the other side of the door, our fingers barely touching through the crack. There’s nothing more agonizing for a parent than feeling powerless to help a child in need.
The burden of worry is shared by many parents: those with chronically ill children facing medical procedures, those navigating complex adoption processes, or parents managing shared custody with irresponsible ex-partners. It’s all part of the parenting journey, yet none of us truly understands the full scope of this adventure before diving in.
A friend recently expressed her anxiety about dropping her child off at college, fearing she wouldn’t be able to reach her if something went wrong. I can relate; my daughter is set to study abroad next semester, and I can’t help but feel apprehensive, especially with recent news events in Paris and Brussels. But I remind myself that fear does not dictate my choices. As Marianne Williamson wisely said, “Love is what we’re born with; fear is what we learn here.”
Parenting is inherently about risk. From the moment they’re born, we navigate a delicate balance: keeping them close while encouraging their independence; stepping in to help while allowing them to learn through mistakes. The ultimate goal is to empower them to thrive on their own.
I grew up in a time when children rode bikes for miles without helmets and drank straight from the garden hose. The Surgeon General was barely a concern back then. I advocate for adventurous play—climbing trees, running barefoot, and shouting “Swing higher, Daddy!”
Yes, there will be moments of panic and distress when we can’t shield our children from every misstep. Did we really think parenting would be all fun and games? We cannot become overly fixated on safety in a world that thrives on fear. When did we start equating failure with something negative? Embracing failure is essential for growth.
The beauty of risk lies in its potential for connection, creativity, and a fulfilling life. Sometimes, we must let go of the bike and allow our children to ride independently. Personally, I’ve outgrown the need to run alongside them, and parenting should never be about my fears—it’s about preparing them to soar.
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Summary:
Understanding the importance of allowing children to take risks is crucial for their development. While parental instinct drives us to protect, it’s essential to foster independence and resilience. Embracing the challenges of parenting can lead to growth, creativity, and richer experiences for both parents and children.
Keyphrase: Allowing children to take risks
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