As long as I can remember, I dreamed of becoming a mother. My childhood was filled with dolls that I meticulously cared for, but the reality of raising a human baby proved to be a stark contrast to those simpler days. Holding my dolls was effortless; I could shower them with affection, feed them, and set them down whenever I wanted. In those moments, I felt like a perfect mom, free to engage in my imaginative play.
However, when my first child arrived, I quickly realized that the care a real baby requires is far more demanding. Holding him close was a joy, but I soon discovered I needed to manage daily tasks without a baby permanently attached to me. Unfortunately, my son had other ideas. He resisted being placed down, creating a challenging dynamic.
We had a lovely bassinet, a baby swing, and a bouncy seat, all generously gifted to us. When my son was just a few days old, after a nourishing feeding session, he dozed off on my chest. With utmost care, I attempted to transfer him to the bassinet, but as soon as I lowered him, his eyes shot open, as if to say, “Seriously, what are you doing?”
In response to this, I adopted a mindset of acceptance. I tried various methods to soothe him, from swaddling to leaving a shirt that smelled like me nearby. I even experimented with white noise and soothing music. The baby swing was a rare success, but it only worked sporadically. Eventually, I surrendered to the situation. My husband and I took turns holding him, and oddly enough, this arrangement didn’t turn out to be as burdensome as I had anticipated. Once I stopped stressing about my baby being comfortable without me, we both found greater happiness.
I later learned about the concept of the “fourth trimester,” which highlights how human babies are born earlier than most mammals due to the size of their heads. Unlike many other species that emerge ready to walk, human infants require additional time close to their caregivers for comfort and development. This understanding helped me embrace the need for closeness without guilt.
Through experimentation, I eventually mastered babywearing, which allowed me to keep my son close while freeing my hands for chores. I became adept at multitasking with one hand—a skill I didn’t realize I possessed.
Since the birth of my first “Velcro baby,” I have become a breastfeeding counselor and lactation consultant. Among the common inquiries I receive, one of the most frequent is from parents frustrated by their baby’s refusal to be set down. These parents often feel guilty, questioning their skills or the adequacy of their milk supply. While some infants do require more closeness than others, it’s essential to recognize that many babies go through phases where they need constant contact.
This clinginess is not a failure of parenting; it’s a natural part of infant development. Babies are emotional beings, and their attachment to caregivers is a normal phase. I’ve been there, grappling with the challenges of having a baby who seemed glued to me at all times. However, it’s crucial to know this phase is temporary. By the time they reach four or five months, many babies begin to enjoy independent play.
Remember, it’s perfectly okay to find this situation challenging. You’re not alone. As I navigated life with my Velcro baby, I often needed reassurance: “It’s normal. You’re doing great.” To all the parents currently facing similar challenges, I offer the same encouragement. You’ll get through it, and your little one will grow more independent in time.
For those exploring the journey of parenthood, you may find helpful insights on home insemination at Make a Mom or check out Healthline for reliable resources on pregnancy. Additionally, Cryobaby provides valuable information regarding at-home insemination kits.
Summary
Parenting a clingy or “Velcro” baby can be overwhelming, but understanding that this behavior is a normal part of infant development can alleviate some of the stress. Embracing babywearing and accepting the need for closeness can lead to a more enjoyable experience for both parent and child. Support and reassurance are key during this phase, as it is temporary and will eventually ease.
Keyphrase: clingy baby behavior
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