12 Insights Gained from Seven Years of Marriage

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In the course of my seven-year marriage, I have garnered significant insights about myself and the dynamics of partnership. While my spouse, Jake, has played a pivotal role in this journey, my openness to personal evolution has also contributed greatly. Together, we have navigated various challenges that have shaped us into who we are today. Here are the key lessons I’ve learned:

  1. The Early Years are the Most Challenging
    The initial stages of marriage often reveal unexpected quirks—like discovering that your partner drinks straight from the milk jug. However, as time goes on, you learn to adapt and prioritize what truly matters. Eventually, you reach a point where words become unnecessary, except when that milk jug incident resurfaces.
  2. Choose Your Battles Wisely
    Some disagreements, such as the toilet seat lid, simply aren’t worth the energy. Save those discussions for more significant issues, like who will handle the next late-night diaper change.
  3. Invest in a Rug Doctor
    One of the best purchases we made as a couple was a Rug Doctor. Even before kids came into our lives, this machine became indispensable. From cleaning up pet messes to tackling crayon stains, it has proven to be a lifesaver and a marriage-saver.
  4. Embrace Your Natural Self
    While looking good feels nice, your partner will care more about your well-being than your makeup routine, especially during sleepless nights. It’s the authenticity that matters most.
  5. Children Can Be Draining
    Kids will demand your time and energy, often leaving you feeling depleted. It’s easy to forget about each other amidst the chaos, but maintaining your connection is crucial. Remember to prioritize your relationship, or else you may find yourselves drifting apart.
  6. Communication Strengthens Over Time
    In a home filled with little ones, effective communication is vital. The more you collaborate, the better you understand each other. Disagreements will arise, but they ultimately enhance your connection.
  7. Treasure Your Shared Moments
    With limited time together, even a quiet moment on the porch can feel rejuvenating. Once abundant, these moments become rare treasures, reminding you to appreciate every second.
  8. Laundry Will Consume Your Life
    The sheer volume of laundry can feel overwhelming. You may fantasize about drastic measures to tackle the piles, but learning to manage it becomes part of the routine.
  9. Cooking Skills Aren’t Mandatory
    You don’t need to be a gourmet chef to keep your family fed. Basic meals, like peanut butter sandwiches or pasta with jarred sauce, are often sufficient. It’s more about nourishing your family than impressing them.
  10. Different Interests Can Be Healthy
    Initially, I wanted to do everything with Jake, but as life became busier, I realized the importance of having separate hobbies. This independence helps maintain your identity beyond parenting.
  11. Everyone Deserves Time Off
    I once thought my husband had the easier day while I was home with the kids. It took time for me to recognize his hard work outside the house. Both partners need downtime to keep the household happy and harmonious.
  12. Change is Inevitable
    You and your spouse are not the same individuals you were on your wedding day, and that’s a good thing. Embracing each other’s growth fosters a richer partnership and sets an example for your children about adaptability and collaboration.

One invaluable piece of advice regarding marriage is this: “Some days, you’ll question your choice of partner.” It’s natural to wonder, and while challenges will arise, a willingness to invest in your friendship can lead to a flourishing partnership. You might not change every little habit, like the milk jug incident, but with effort, you can share the load during those late-night diaper changes.

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In summary, marriage is a journey filled with growth, challenges, and moments of profound learning. Embracing change, understanding each other’s needs, and prioritizing your relationship will lead to a stronger bond.

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