Parenting Insights
My youngest child, Noah, embodies a spirited nature. To put it more gently, he is wild—full of energy and enthusiasm, just as the term suggests. Defined in a straightforward manner, the word “wild” refers to living in a natural state, free from domesticity; it can also imply being uncontrolled or unrestrained, particularly in seeking joy.
Noah reflects this definition perfectly: he is unrestrained and free-spirited. This, naturally, leaves me feeling perpetually exhausted.
His wildness emerged during a tumultuous period in my life, marking the end of my previous marriage. As the youngest child born to two beleaguered parents who were trying to salvage their family, he became accustomed to the chaos surrounding him. Noah often rested in our bed, nestled between his father and me, providing a comforting barrier that also distanced us from each other.
As he grew, I noticed his insatiable appetite—not just for food, but for attention and comfort. He would cry out for me, demanding to be held and fed immediately. While I longed for him to learn to self-soothe and find comfort independently, the reality of my other parenting responsibilities and my own fatigue made it easier to simply give in to his needs.
In hindsight, I began to internalize his wildness as my fault. I held on to him tightly, clinging to the last remnants of my baby, while our family dynamic unraveled around us. So, instead of addressing the emotional turmoil, we found solace in the quiet of the night, sharing a bed with a child created from the love and struggles we both shared.
As the years passed and my marriage ended, Noah’s wildness only intensified. He blossomed into a charming and strong boy, filled with kindness and love for those around him, yet he seemed to disregard concepts like “gentleness” and “moderation.”
I often found myself repeating phrases to him like a broken record: “You can’t jump on the couch,” and “Please sit while you’re eating.” The cycle of reminders felt never-ending, and I started to worry if his behavior was confined to our home or if it extended beyond. His school days brought home notes with comments like, “Noah is such a sweet boy, but he struggles to sit still,” and “He has difficulty keeping his hands to himself.”
I would find him, mid-sentence, devouring a snack and rolling around on the floor, a whirlwind of energy. “Noah, you need to stay seated in class,” I would remind him, hugging him tightly. He would respond with a gentle, “I know, Mama. It’s just so hard to remember.”
On some mornings, he would question my daily routine, asking, “What do you do all day, Mama?” This made me anxious; I feared he might decide to sneak away from school like a mischievous monkey escaping from its cage. Each day he returned home brought me a sense of relief.
The cycle of worry and relief continued, a reflection of maternal love amidst the chaos. At bedtime, Noah would seek to be tucked in last. After settling his siblings, I would squeeze into his bed, which was overflowing with cherished toys and treasures. I would often drift off to sleep beside him, comforted by the familiar sound of his breathing.
Noah’s wildness flourished as he transitioned from my side, filling his space with personal artifacts that mattered to him. I sometimes attempted to temper his spirited nature, believing that fitting in and knowing boundaries were vital lessons for him. Isn’t that the role of a mother—to guide the unruly and help them find their place in the world?
Yet, there’s a truth I hesitate to voice: I admire his freedom. His wildness opens doors to a vast world, allowing him to love fiercely and bounce back from challenges. He dances to his own unique rhythm, unbothered by societal expectations.
Though he remains small and time is on our side, I acknowledge the difficulty of this journey. We are taking our time, balancing between nurturing his wild spirit and providing the structure he needs. There is still time to shape his essence without stifling his adventurous nature.
This article emphasizes the beauty and challenge of parenting a spirited child and reflects the importance of allowing them to explore their wildness while also guiding them toward understanding their place in the world.
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Summary:
Navigating the challenges of parenting a high-spirited child, Jessica shares her experiences with her youngest son, Noah, highlighting the balance between nurturing his wild nature and instilling structure in his life. As she reflects on their journey, she embraces the beauty of his freedom while recognizing the importance of guidance.
Keyphrase: Spirited Child Parenting
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