Parenting Insights
They Might Be Spoiled, But My Kids Aren’t Rude
by Jessica Foster
Updated: Aug. 18, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 18, 2016
As a parent, I often find myself in a state of flexibility. While my children might argue otherwise, I believe I maintain a balanced approach to parenting. We do have rules that I enforce regularly, but I’m open to hearing their perspectives. If they present a compelling case, I’m willing to adjust the guidelines.
For instance, I might pick up my 9-year-old’s clothes when he politely expresses exhaustion. Similarly, if my younger son, with his adorable new haircut, compliments me just before asking for a lollipop, I may indulge him even if it’s not designated dessert time. Admittedly, I do spoil them.
I also provide material goods, albeit within my financial limits. Toys, video games, and ice cream are common treats, and most of our extra funds are directed towards their happiness. After all, they deserve to be my focus during their formative years.
Children are, by nature, prone to emotional outbursts over trivial matters. Their brains are still developing the capacity for impulse control, and I strive to be patient. While it’s essential to enforce structure, I make an effort to understand their feelings and show empathy. It’s a delicate balance to achieve.
Moreover, their sheer cuteness and innocence compel me to indulge them while I can. When my 3-year-old requests my presence during his nap, it’s hard to decline. If my 9-year-old has a nightmare, he’s welcome to sleep in my room, even for a few consecutive nights. Why not?
Nonetheless, I draw the line when it comes to rudeness. It’s not just a matter of etiquette; true manners are rooted in kindness and respect.
How to Nurture Kindness
So how do I nurture their kindness? Communication about emotions is paramount in our household. My children may tire of my emphasis on feelings, but it’s crucial. If they misbehave—whether it’s ignoring my requests, physical altercations, or rejecting meals they asked for—I need to understand what’s bothering them.
Sometimes, they struggle to articulate their feelings. Yes, there are occasions when discipline is necessary, especially if their actions are harmful to themselves or others. However, I don’t punish them for their emotional responses. Once they’ve calmed down, they usually articulate their concerns well.
By respecting their feelings, I’m instilling values of kindness, love, and empathy. Consequently, they have become attentive listeners—not just to me but to their teachers and peers as well.
My parenting style serves as a blueprint for how they will interact with the world. If this approach appears indulgent, I accept that as part of my journey. Above all, I want my children to feel secure and cherished. I genuinely believe that by enveloping them in unconditional love, they will be better equipped to share that love with others.
I acknowledge my imperfections and the challenges of parenting. Still, the outcomes of my efforts—though occasionally involving spoiling—are evident. My children are becoming kind individuals, good friends, and dedicated students. In time, I’m confident they will grow into respectful men who prioritize kindness.
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In summary, my parenting philosophy balances leniency with empathy, ensuring my children grow into considerate individuals. While I may spoil them, I firmly believe that fostering their emotional awareness and kindness is paramount.
Keyphrase: Parenting and Kindness
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