In December, I made the decision to discontinue my medication for anxiety and depression. This choice stemmed from changes in my healthcare provider and a misguided belief that I had gained control over my life. When I first started taking medication, I was overwhelmed, constantly anxious, and unable to manage daily life. As I confided to my doctor, I felt like I was losing my grasp on reality.
If I had been living alone or even just with my partner, I might have attempted to endure the struggle. However, at that time, I was responsible for a 2-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter who needed a fully engaged mother. They deserved a parent who was mentally present, not one lost in a fog of despair or paralyzed by imaginary disasters. They required the best version of me, and I couldn’t provide that while unmedicated.
After a year on medication, I felt transformed. Life seemed manageable, and I believed I could fulfill the roles of mother, friend, and partner without relying on medication. I thought I was ready to take on life unaided. I was mistaken.
For five months, I dedicated myself to being the person my loved ones needed. I aimed to perceive reality without the distortions of anxiety and sadness. There were good days and small victories, but as time passed, I found myself succumbing to the overwhelming tides of anxiety and depression once more. I realized I could no longer simply endure—I needed medication again.
This realization left me feeling like a failure, as if I lacked the strength to overcome my mental health challenges. I thought I should have tried harder, gotten more rest, or followed a different plan to feel okay. I felt weak and hopeless, convinced I would never be the person my family needed.
Now, after several weeks back on medication, I understand that those self-critical thoughts are unfounded. The only issue I face is that my mental health is affected in a way that differs from others—resulting in significant anxiety and depression. However, this isn’t a flaw; it’s simply part of who I am. Just as I have blue eyes and blond hair, I also experience anxiety and depression, and that’s perfectly acceptable.
In a world where many feel stigmatized for using medication, I want to share that my medication plays a crucial role in making me a better mother. It helps stabilize my emotions, allowing me to engage with my children from a place of clarity rather than fear and insecurity. With medication, I can interact with my kids daily, teaching and loving them without the constant burden of anxiety. I can approach parenting with patience, embracing both the joyful and challenging moments, knowing I am the best mom I can be for them.
Experiencing anxiety and depression is a struggle I wouldn’t wish on anyone; it’s distressing and can be devastating. But if you’re grappling with similar issues, seeking help is essential. While some may judge or express disappointment, their opinions are inconsequential. What truly matters is that mental health medication can help you become the person you aspire to be. It can restore your wholeness. My medications have been a blessing for both me and my children, and I will continue to use them as long as necessary to be the best mom possible.
My children deserve that, and so do I. If you’re interested in exploring ways to start a family, consider checking out resources like this guide on artificial insemination kits. You can also learn more about the process of insemination through this informative resource.
Summary
This article discusses the author’s journey with anxiety and depression, highlighting the importance of medication in their parenting. It emphasizes that seeking help is vital for mental health and that medication can enhance one’s ability to be present and engaged with family.
Keyphrase: “mental health and parenting”
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