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- Parenting
By Clara Thompson
Updated: Dec. 17, 2020
Originally Published: Aug. 7, 2016
It was a pivotal evening dedicated to Back-to-School introductions. As a teacher, I experienced a mix of excitement and anxiety. The room gradually filled with bright-eyed 4-year-olds accompanied by their parents. One mother approached with her son, beaming as she introduced him, “This is Alex.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Alex! And who is this lovely person with you?” I inquired, looking up at his mother.
He raised an eyebrow and replied, “Just my mom.”
That phrase echoed in my mind long after the event: “Just my mom.” “Just my mom.”
Throughout the academic year, I developed a fond connection with Alex and his peers. Many of the children were fortunate to have devoted stay-at-home mothers who actively participated in school activities. As Mother’s Day approached, I decided to create meaningful crafts for these nurturing figures. I discovered a charming “About My Mom” questionnaire and engaged each child in filling it out.
“What’s your mom’s name?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, what does your dad call her?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where does your mom work?”
“She doesn’t.”
“What does your mom do while you’re at school?”
“She cleans up my mess,” one child remarked. “She buys me toys,” another chimed in. “She waits for me,” said a third.
“What do you mean by waiting?” I probed.
“She drops me off and then waits until I’m done with school to take me home.”
“The whole time?” I pressed.
“Yes,” she affirmed.
“I don’t know what she does,” another child added.
“Well, I’m sure she does many things. Right now, while you’re here talking to me, what do you think your mom might be doing?”
“I don’t know.”
“What does she enjoy doing for fun?” I asked, feeling a sense of urgency.
“I don’t know what she likes.”
These conversations were all too common. Out of my entire class, only three or four children could articulate their mother’s identity beyond just being a caregiver.
At home, I embody the role of a mother while also fulfilling a maternal role to 17 children in my classroom. Sometimes, I feel like just a pair of hands. “Can you open this?” “Can you tie my shoe?” “Can I have more water?” I strive to assert my individuality beyond “my teacher.” During sharing time, I relish the opportunity to share my own experiences, enjoying the children’s surprise that I—gasp—don’t reside at the school.
It’s widely understood that children are inherently self-centered, a fact taught through Jean Piaget’s cognitive development theory. Children are in the process of learning and should not be judged harshly. Yet, as I listened to their responses, I felt the weight of a mother’s often unrecognized struggles. It’s common for mothers to feel underappreciated, with much of their labor going unnoticed. Children can sometimes perceive their mothers as existing solely to fulfill their needs, and while they may not voice it, their actions often convey this sentiment.
A mother’s presence can become so constant that she is overlooked, fading into the background. The hard work of a mother frequently remains unacknowledged. Nevertheless, mothers consistently prioritize their children’s emotional needs over their own, often setting aside their individuality.
Love is inherently a sacrifice. Your children love you, and they need to see you as a person with thoughts and feelings. You deserve recognition. Take the time to reveal who you are to them, even if it seems they don’t appreciate it. You are valuable. You may feel invisible, but I acknowledge you.
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Summary:
This article explores the often-overlooked role of mothers both at home and in the classroom. Through the lens of a teacher’s experiences, it highlights the emotional labor and sacrifices mothers make for their children, urging them to embrace their individuality and share their identities. The message underscores that while mothers may feel invisible, their significance is acknowledged and valued.
Keyphrase: Mothers’ Emotional Labor
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