In the bustling world around us, children often lack the awareness of the impact their actions can have on others. I watch as two little girls with playful pigtails giggle and whisper, their hands cupped conspiratorially. They may see it as innocent fun, but the truth is, their actions cut deep. My son stands beside me, using my presence as a protective barrier, his “bad side” pressed against my hip. He’s learned to navigate the world with Goldenhar syndrome, a congenital facial difference that makes him stand out in any crowd. While he may not fully grasp the words they say, the stares and whispers are loud enough to resonate in his heart.
If you only understood…
You would recognize that, despite his unique appearance, he possesses extraordinary skills, such as organizing a closet with precision that would impress even the most seasoned homemakers. Yet, he might wear the same pair of socks for a week simply for convenience. You would see him clasp my hand each night, requesting I tuck him in and pray, a moment where he feels safe enough to share his worries about the unkind remarks he faces. The darkness of night provides a comforting veil, hiding his pain and fears.
You would realize that, contrary to assumptions, he is neither mentally challenged nor “slow” simply because he wears a hearing aid and glasses alongside other devices. You would know that his beloved Grandma Lily is his confidante, treating him to ice cream after every doctor’s appointment, sometimes indulging him with two. You would witness his anxiety when we step beyond the familiar confines of our home, our neighborhood, and our community.
You would learn that he is acutely aware of the stares and whispers, even if he pretends otherwise. These experiences linger in his mind and surface during quiet moments at night, where he shares his sorrow with me in a flood of tears. You would know that he has endured numerous medical appointments, procedures, and interventions, including a challenging six-week period with his jaw wired shut after surgery, subsisting on a diet of liquids.
You would see the joy on his face during Halloween, a time when he can blend in with others and mask his differences. You would understand his yearning for an ear, a procedure we must delay until his facial bone structure is prepared for surgery. You would hear his dreams of becoming a builder, inspired by his friend Mr. Tom.
You would know that sometimes, he forgets he is different until someone reminds him—an unfortunate reminder that is all too frequent. Beneath it all, he is a typical boy who squabbles with his siblings, relishes pizza and camping adventures, and finds solace within a family that loves him unconditionally.
If you truly knew me…
You would see the relief I feel in the dark when he opens up about his worries, allowing my tears to fall quietly. You would appreciate the gratitude I hold for having at least one child out of six who values orderliness. You would understand my deep desire to shield him from harsh stares, unkind comments, and the sadness that sometimes overwhelms him.
You would recognize my frustration when he faces hurt, and the internal struggle I endure to resist the urge to retaliate. You would realize how I often lie awake, wrestling with the balance between protection and independence. Each year, I take it upon myself to educate his classmates about his differences, believing that many parents overlook the importance of teaching empathy and acceptance.
You wouldn’t blame you if your child makes an unkind remark; rather, I hope you seize the moment to explain to them how my son shares the same heart and feelings as theirs. You would understand the painful question he once posed, wondering why God hadn’t given him an ear, and if perhaps it was a sign of being unloved.
Ultimately, my son has shown me that kindness must be intentional and cannot be passive. It cannot manifest as silent observation in a grocery store or as indifference on a playground. Kindness is an active choice; it is the decision to approach my son with a friendly “Hi, would you like to sit with me?”
This journey of understanding is pivotal not just for my son, but for all of us. As we explore topics of family and connection, you may want to check out this resource on fertility, as well as this excellent guide on IVF, which can provide valuable insights for those considering home insemination.
In summary, empathy and understanding can transform our interactions. A simple act of kindness can create a world where differences are celebrated rather than shunned.
Keyphrase: A Mother’s Heartfelt Desire
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