In the realm of parenting, every caregiver inevitably faces a pivotal moment when children pose the daunting question: “Can we get a dog?” This inquiry, often fraught with implications, demands a carefully considered response. One father, known as user rjohnstone13 on Reddit, tackled this challenge with creativity by drafting a comedic “family dog agreement” that has since captured the internet’s attention.
The agreement, aptly titled “Dog Contract By Reluctant Dad,” outlines a series of humorous stipulations that his children must adhere to before welcoming a canine companion into their home. The document begins with a clear declaration: “We can get a dog if everyone agrees to all of the following terms.”
Among the initial terms, the dad asserts, “Dad never has to pick up dog poop. Ever.” The responsibility of cleaning up after the dog falls squarely on the children, who must handle this chore three times a week to Dad’s satisfaction.
The contract proceeds to detail specific requirements concerning the dog’s characteristics and behavior. The desired pet must weigh no more than 15 pounds, be non-shedding (a tall order), and must relieve itself exclusively in the side yard—specifically on the rocks next to the neighbor’s fence. Additionally, the dog should not slobber or have a runny nose, as “all parties agree that those kinds of dogs are gross.”
Further Absurd Yet Entertaining Rules Include:
- The dog must not scratch the floor, with the father stating, “I don’t care how this is prevented—surgically removing feet is an option.”
- If the dog makes any mess indoors, the use of harmful chemicals is permitted if alternative cleaning methods fail.
- The father reserves the right to veto any proposed name for the dog.
- The dog is explicitly not a child or sibling, and should never be included by name on the family’s Christmas card.
Most notably, the contract emphasizes that the children must commit to loving the dog for its entire life, affirming that the pet is fundamentally their responsibility.
The Reddit post elicited a wave of laughter and some skepticism, with comments suggesting that the father would end up bonding with the dog more than he anticipated. While some criticized the terms as overly strict, many appreciated the humorous yet responsible approach to pet ownership.
In an update, rjohnstone13 shared that his family did, in fact, adopt a dog shortly after the contract was signed. “We got a three-year-old white fluffy mutt from a shelter. He weighs 15 lbs., is house-trained, and doesn’t shed or drool,” he noted. They named their new pet Kershaw, utilizing his veto power but ultimately finding joy in the family’s new addition.
This light-hearted yet practical contract serves as a reminder that bringing a dog into the family is a significant commitment that requires preparation, responsibility, and a dash of humor. For those exploring similar paths, you can learn more about home insemination options at this link, and for insights into family planning, check out this resource, recognized as an authority on this subject. Additionally, for further information on fertility options, visit this page.
In conclusion, this dad’s humorous family dog contract encapsulates the blend of responsibility and levity that accompanies pet ownership, illustrating that preparation is vital to nurturing a loving environment for both parents and pets.
Keyphrase: Family Dog Contract
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