As your daughter, Lily, prepares for school, she turns to you with a plea, “I don’t want to take the bus. My tummy feels funny. Please don’t make me go.” Your heart sinks, realizing what should be a routine morning has turned into a stressful ordeal. You see genuine fear in her eyes and want nothing more than to help her navigate the overwhelming anxieties that seem to invade her everyday life.
Initially, you attempt to reason with her, saying, “Lily, we take this bus because the driver has a clean safety record!” Still, she remains unconvinced. You offer reassurance, “I promise everything will be fine. Trust me.” She nods but then whispers again, “Please don’t make me go.” Frustrated, you raise your voice, “Lily Marie, you will get on that bus, or there will be consequences!” She reluctantly obeys, but you feel guilty for using fear as motivation.
If this situation resonates with you, rest assured that you’re not alone. Many parents face similar struggles when trying to ease their child’s anxiety, which can sometimes feel insurmountable. Watching your child grapple with fears that seem irrational can be heartbreaking. The reality is that for kids like Lily, these fears are very real. Even the smallest perceived threats can provoke a significant anxiety response, which is something I understand all too well.
Having dealt with anxiety myself, I empathize with the struggles both children and parents face. Research indicates that 40 million adults in the U.S. and 1 in 8 children experience anxiety, leading many to miss out on school, social activities, and restful nights. While there is no universal solution for anxiety, there are several proven strategies that can assist in managing it.
Here are nine actionable strategies for parents to help their anxious children:
- Avoid Over-Reassuring Your Child
Reassuring your child may seem like the right approach, yet it often falls on deaf ears during anxious moments. Instead, consider utilizing the FEEL method:- Freeze: Stop and take deep breaths together.
- Empathize: Acknowledge that anxiety is daunting.
- Evaluate: Once calm, discuss possible solutions.
- Let Go: Forgive yourself for any guilt; you’re equipping your child with essential tools.
- Explain the Purpose of Worrying
Help your child understand that worrying has its roots in survival. In the past, anxiety helped keep our ancestors safe from dangers. While the threats may not be the same today, explain that worry is a normal human experience and can serve a protective role. - Personify Their Worries
Bringing worries to life can be a helpful strategy. Create a character that embodies their anxiety, such as a stuffed animal named Wally the Worrywart. This approach demystifies their feelings and provides a tool for them to address their anxiety creatively. - Encourage Thought Investigation
Teach your child to analyze their thoughts critically. Introduce the 3Cs:- Catch your anxious thoughts.
- Collect evidence for and against these thoughts.
- Challenge these thoughts through self-debate.
- Designate “Worry Time”
Instead of telling your child not to worry, allow them to express their thoughts during a predetermined “Worry Time.” Encourage them to jot down their concerns for 10-15 minutes, after which they can metaphorically close the box on their worries for the day. - Shift From ‘What If’ to ‘What Is’
Teach mindfulness techniques to help your child stay grounded in the present moment. Focusing on their breath for a few minutes can help them transition from hypothetical worries to their current reality. - Gradually Face Their Fears
Encourage your children to confront their anxieties instead of avoiding them. Use a strategy called “laddering,” which involves breaking down their fears into manageable steps, allowing them to progress at their own pace. - Create an Anxiety Checklist
Develop a checklist that your child can follow when they feel anxious. This can include steps like deep breathing or evaluating their situation, similar to how pilots refer to checklists during emergencies. - Practice Self-Compassion
Watching your child struggle with anxiety can be overwhelming. Remember that anxiety often arises from various factors, and you are not to blame. Practice self-compassion, acknowledging that you’re doing your best to support your child.
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In summary, while anxiety can be a daunting challenge for children and their parents, implementing these strategies can foster resilience and support emotional well-being.
Keyphrase: Strategies for Helping Child Cope with Anxiety
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