I once prided myself on being organized. My closets were spotless, and I managed to complete laundry in a single day. I had everything under control, and clutter was not on my radar.
Then, I had children.
My once orderly home has devolved into chaos—a veritable disaster zone that rivals a train wreck. The mess is overwhelming, and I often find myself exhaling in frustration, pondering when my home spiraled out of control. When did I stop caring about the state of my linen closet? While I recognize the need to declutter, the prospect of regaining order feels daunting.
In a bid to take charge of the mess that has invaded my life, I decided to read Marie Kondo’s much-lauded book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. The title alone sparked my interest, as I am a fan of transformative concepts. Surely, Kondo’s expertise could guide me back on track.
However, as I delved into the pages, irritation began to set in. Though I used to manage decluttering regularly, Kondo’s tone felt condescending, making me defensive about my overflowing collection of shoes. Here are a few excerpts from her advice that particularly irked me:
1. “Everyone Needs a Sanctuary”
Really, Marie? My sanctuary exists in a dark corner of my overstuffed closet. If I were to clear out the clothes I haven’t worn since 1992, my children might actually locate me. I think I’ll stick with my chaotic refuge, thank you.
2. “Decorate Your Closet With Secret Delights”
Perhaps I do indulge in this from time to time, but I suspect Kondo didn’t envision a stash of chocolates and a copy of People magazine as her definition of “delights.”
3. “Empty Your Bag Everyday”
Marie, have you ever spent a day out with kids? If you had, you’d know that packing for an outing is akin to preparing for an expedition. The idea of unpacking my bag daily is laughable.
4. “Gather Everything in One Space Before You Start Organizing”
Not a problem for me, as currently, every item of clothing we own seems to be residing on my laundry room floor. This organizing frenzy will start right there.
5. “You Should Have Freedom From a Life With Excess Stock”
Marie, you’ve obviously never stepped foot in a Costco. I recommend you get a membership and experience the joy of buying in bulk—while getting a tiny reprieve from tidying.
Kondo also suggests that we assess whether each item brings us joy, allowing us to keep what does and dispose of the rest. However, if I attempted to discard the hideous recliner my husband cherishes, it would undoubtedly lead to marital discord.
Perhaps the most amusing aspect of Kondo’s methodology is her folding technique, which resembles origami. Honestly, the thought of folding every piece of clothing into such intricate shapes is laughable.
Despite the lack of life-changing results from Kondo’s book, I managed to gather a few bags of clothes for donation. I occasionally reflect on her advice when contemplating yet another pair of strappy sandals. Still, I find a sense of satisfaction in tossing her book onto my neglected pile without a second thought.
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Summary:
In a humorous reflection on the challenges of maintaining order after becoming a parent, I share my frustrations with Marie Kondo’s well-known tidying principles. While her suggestions may work for some, they often felt out of touch with the reality of parenting and everyday life. Ultimately, I found a small measure of success in decluttering but did not experience the life-altering magic promised by her book.
Keyphrase: Marie Kondo tidying up
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