Ten years ago, I encountered Denial, and at the time, I had no idea how much of an influence she would be in my life. Denial quickly became that friend I leaned on during challenging times. She was always there, offering comfort, even on days when I didn’t necessarily need her presence. Denial settled into my kitchen, took over my spare room, and made herself a resident in my mind without ever bringing a bottle of wine.
She allowed me to overlook difficult moments from my past, suggesting I focus on the present instead. Denial is a tough companion, one I think many parents have encountered after hearing “The A Word” whispered by professionals. She lingers, talks endlessly, and often leads you astray. Denial is the friend everyone warns you about, yet, like so many, I ignored the advice and embraced her presence for far too long. Eventually, I had to confront her, just as I had to deal with that questionable boyfriend from my youth, but this time without any regrettable tattoos.
Denial often appeared right after Fear had left, as if they were a duo that couldn’t bear to part. Although I no longer invite them into my life, I recognize they were there for a purpose. Instead of feeling guilty about my past choices in friendships, I choose to reflect on how those experiences have shaped me. Here are 12 ways Denial made her presence felt after my son’s autism diagnosis.
- When Ryan’s sensory sensitivities were at their peak, Denial told me that his wild behavior during my hair drying sessions was actually a result of him feeling neglected, not the sound of the hair dryer.
- Denial assured me that Ryan’s avoidance of eye contact was merely a sign that he found the world around him far more captivating than his nagging mother.
- When I lamented Ryan’s lack of friendships, Denial comforted me by claiming he simply hadn’t found friends worthy of his time, a less painful narrative to accept.
- Denial convinced me that Ryan’s spinning beneath the kitchen light wasn’t a self-regulatory mechanism, but rather an attempt to locate the screws on the fixture for a non-existent lightbulb change.
- The meltdowns at the hair salon were attributed to Ryan wanting long hair, not the possibility that they hinted at sensory challenges.
- Denial told me that Ryan’s protests against attending music class were not due to sensory overload, but because he believed the class should feature more sophisticated music.
- Whenever Ryan would pull away from affectionate gestures, Denial reassured me it was because my hugs were unmatched, not due to his discomfort with physical touch.
- Denial would explain away Ryan’s tantrums when trying new experiences, insisting it was simply a case of wanting to stick with what worked rather than a resistance to change.
- New clothing items weren’t a sensory issue; Denial claimed it was a testament to Ryan’s desire for me to indulge in my fashion preferences.
- Ryan’s repetitive eating habits were not indicative of autism, but rather a way to ensure I always made meals he enjoyed.
- Denial would shout at me to stop worrying about Ryan’s extensive scripting, offering the notion that perhaps he just found the lives of characters more exciting than his own.
- “He’s fine,” Denial would insist, conveniently ignoring the fact that while Ryan was indeed perfect in his own way, he still required support that I was not equipped to provide.
Ultimately, it became necessary to part ways with Denial. Although it was challenging, and I occasionally let her back in, it was vital for me to embrace Acceptance. Acceptance arrived, illuminating the truths that Denial had obscured. With Acceptance by my side, I was able to seek the support Ryan needed, ensuring he could thrive.
Denial played a significant role in my journey, much like friends who pass through your life leave lasting impressions. While she may have lingered longer than I would have preferred, I recognize that her presence contributed to my growth and, consequently, Ryan’s progress.
For those navigating similar experiences with Denial, remember she serves a purpose, but it’s essential to not let her linger too long. Your child’s future relies on your ability to move forward without her influence.
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Summary
The journey through denial after an autism diagnosis can be challenging, but recognizing its presence is crucial for growth. Understanding the ways Denial influenced perceptions can help parents navigate their paths toward acceptance and support for their children.
Keyphrase: Autism diagnosis denial
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