An Apology and a Request to Fellow Parents

To My Fellow Parents,

I find it necessary to express my sincere apologies.

For every instance when I remarked, “Little kids bring little challenges, while big kids bring big challenges.” For every time I comforted a parent anxiously awaiting their infant’s first crawl or walk by saying, “It will be tougher once they’re on the move.” For every time I belittled a parent who longed for their child to speak by saying, “I wish I didn’t have to endure the incessant repetition of ‘Mom-Mom-Mom’.” For every moment I reassured a sleep-deprived parent, “Just wait until they can escape from their toddler bed.” For every time I told a potty-training parent, “I wish we could revert to diapers.” For every kindergarten parent lamenting a clingy child while I said, “I wish my troubles were as simple as a nap.” For every time I unintentionally downplayed someone’s struggles when they sought understanding, I am truly sorry.

Because that’s not how we should support one another.

Reflecting on my journey, I recall a moment captured in a photograph of my son, Oliver, at just one month old. He was incredibly tiny—there aren’t many who are smaller. Yet, the hurdles of those early days felt monumental. Each time someone suggested that things would only escalate, that “little kid problems” were trivial compared to what lay ahead, a piece of my spirit was chipped away.

That’s not what support looks like.

Recently, I participated in a discussion among some mothers, where one shared her struggles. Some offered nods of empathy, others recounted similar experiences, while a few provided advice. Some reassured her that it would improve over time, and others extended offers of assistance.

Because that is what true support looks like.

A Heartfelt Request

With this in mind, I also wish to make a heartfelt request.

Let’s move away from the narrative of “little kids, little issues; big kids, big issues.” Let’s stop undermining each other’s parenting challenges simply because we have endured them and our own lives now appear more complex. Let’s refrain from competing with one another through tales of our hardships. And for goodness’ sake, let’s not tell someone facing adversity that they are doing it wrong—after all, simply making it through each day is a feat in itself.

The reality is that parenting is incredibly challenging. It’s filled with rewarding moments, yes, but it can also be overwhelming. Some days feel like a chaotic mess, and occasionally, it might even be an actual mess. Therefore, let’s support one another through these trials. Let’s listen, encourage, assist, and genuinely uplift each other.

Having experienced the nuances of both small children (as showcased in that photograph) and now navigating the journey with my older children, I know that soon they will transition into full-blown teenagers and then adults. While I can’t predict what those years will entail, I recognize that what might seem like a small issue for one could be monumental for another. Hard is hard, and good is good; it’s all relative.

So whether you’re managing the challenges of little ones or those of older kids, my wish for you remains unchanged: May your day be rich with joy and light on difficulties.

An Apology and a Request to Fellow Parents

A Heartfelt Request

Further Reading