The moment I spoke, I instantly regretted it.
What began as a simple inquiry from a friend—”How have you been?”—quickly escalated into an irritating display of subtle bragging about my busyness. “Great!” I replied. “But we’re swamped. So incredibly swamped.” I proceeded to rattle off a list of work obligations, sports events, household tasks, social gatherings, and committee meetings that were keeping my family and I so “swamped.” I even sighed dramatically about my lack of sleep and my overwhelming exhaustion.
My friend nodded but offered no response. I had seemingly triumphed in the Busy Battle.
It seems busyness has become a badge of honor. Being busy is better, and being busy is winning. Right? That’s what I once believed, and judging by conversations around me, I suspect I’m not alone.
Busyness has become the humblebrag of our time. We enumerate our responsibilities as if they justify our worth. We morph into martyrs, portraying ourselves as the selfless individuals drowning in a sea of obligations deeper than anyone else’s. When a friend mentions their busy life, we might retort, “Oh, you think you’re busy? Just wait until you hear about my schedule filled with ballet, soccer, swimming, travel baseball, hockey, a long commute, PTA meetings, and my husband being on the school board. Plus, we both work and still want to socialize!” And on it goes.
In that moment, as I responded to my friend’s casual question about how I was doing rather than what I was doing, I realized I had plunged deep into the rabbit hole of busyness bragging. I wanted out.
Being busy is not a badge of honor. It’s not inherently better, nor does it lead to victory.
I fully support living a fulfilling life. After all, we only get one shot at this existence, so why not embrace it? If you thrive on busyness, that’s fantastic—go for it. Yet, we must acknowledge that we are indeed very busy. But when did being busy transform into a competition? When did we start participating in the Busy Olympics? Why do we feel compelled to broadcast just how busy we are?
We’re all busy. Sometimes we choose to be, and other times life throws demands our way. Some of us are busy because raising kids is a full-time endeavor that comes with its own set of challenges. Others are busy because they have to be or because they want to be.
This isn’t a call for minimalism or a plea to slow down. I’m not advocating for less busyness, but rather, I propose we stop incessantly discussing our busyness. Yes, we’re all busy, so let’s end the contest.
Some of us are busy at work, juggling multiple responsibilities and enduring long hours or challenging bosses. We might be multitasking, responding to our children’s teachers during conference calls, or skipping meals to attend kids’ games. Many of us rush to catch the train home just to have dinner with our families, only to log back on after tucking the kids in to finish work. We are busy.
Others are busy managing home life with children. We’re changing diapers, cooking meals, and cleaning up messes. We’re calming tantrums and mediating disputes over toys, all while helping with homework we may not even understand. Yes, we’re busy.
Some of us devote our time to volunteering, whether it’s organizing community events or advocating for change. We’re busy.
Then there are those who wear many hats. We might be answering emails while breastfeeding, organizing events during dance class, or preparing dinner while on the phone. We are busy.
Let’s not forget about those of us trying to carve out time for self-care. We focus on our health, meet friends, cook nutritious meals, and make time for leisure. We are busy.
Yes, everyone is busy. Yet, this competition over who is the busiest? It’s driving us all a little mad.
So, I’m opting out. I will stop qualifying my responses with “busy but good” when asked how I am. I refuse to regale others with a list of my commitments. I’m stepping away from this exhausting, pointless decathlon of busyness because, frankly, I’m too busy for that.
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Summary:
The article discusses the pervasive culture of busyness and the tendency for individuals to compete over who is the busiest. The author reflects on their own experiences and the realization that busyness should not be a badge of honor. Instead, the focus should be on living fulfilling lives without the need to constantly compare schedules.
Keyphrase: busyness competition
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