Parenthood Transformed Me Into a Content Conformist

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The very thought of being labeled a conformist would have horrified me at 18. It was the mid-’90s, a time when I, like countless other “alternative” girls, adorned myself in Doc Martens, whimsical barrettes, and slip dresses. My vibrant, rainbow-hued hair was a testament to my quest for uniqueness, courtesy of Manic Panic hair dye. Little did I know, my pursuit of individuality mirrored that of many others around me.

Fast forward two decades, and I now find solace in the comfort of conformity. What caused this significant shift? The answer lies in parenthood. Caring for children—feeding, bathing, and simply spending time with them—takes immense effort. My former passion for delving into extensive research has been replaced by a more pragmatic approach. Nowadays, I’d rather prioritize sleep or other essential tasks.

Though I could scour websites, read reviews, and engage with salespeople, I often rely on the insights of those close to me. If my cousin has already selected a booster seat for her child, why duplicate her efforts? When I was in the market for a stroller, I turned to friends for advice. The orange City Mini? If it worked for them, it would surely suffice for me. I even chose a Honda CRV because of the rave reviews from friends; fitting in with the preferences of my social circle became second nature.

The beauty of modern parenting lies in crowdsourcing information. A simple post on social media or a message board can yield an abundance of suggestions. I find myself purchasing the same snacks as my peers. If your pantry is stocked with Annie’s macaroni and cheese, mine probably is too! Our children share toys, from a pile of Melissa & Doug products to the same beloved books. Sandra Boynton? Absolutely a favorite among us!

While some products suit my children better than others, the commonality remains: we all require similar items—strollers, car seats, clothing. We exchange advice on essentials, from bottles to bedtime stories, and also highlight what’s unnecessary, like wipe warmers or pee-pee teepees.

Embracing conformity has proven to be not only easier but also profoundly comforting. The parenting landscape is rife with uncertainties, leaving us questioning our choices. By opting for products and advice that others have vetted, I feel reassured, as if walking a well-trodden path.

I no longer feel the need to be a standout. I still enjoy expressing myself—my hair, now a subtle shade of red, reflects that. While I aim to avoid the pitfalls of a mundane suburban existence, I can still be authentically me while sharing a baby walker with a friend.

There’s no merit in complicating life unnecessarily. There are no accolades for swimming upstream. I never envisioned myself finding joy in conformity, just as I never pictured being a stay-at-home mom in the suburbs. After graduating from college in the Midwest, I moved to New York City, brimming with ambition to conquer the world. While that dream didn’t materialize, I found something equally fulfilling—marriage and the joy of raising two wonderful children.

As I age, my concept of success has evolved. I no longer seek the spotlight or crave fame; my priorities have shifted towards ensuring my children’s safety and happiness. In this journey, embracing the conformist aspects of parenting has become an integral part of my life.

Now, as a parent, I wear the label of conformist with pride and comfort, accepting it as I navigate this new chapter.

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Summary

Parenthood has led me to embrace conformity, trading my youthful desires for individuality for the comfort of shared experiences in parenting. This shift has allowed me to prioritize my children’s needs, finding security in the advice and choices of others, while redefining my sense of success.

Keyphrase: motherhood conformity

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