In a remarkable feat of resilience, my partner, Sarah, completed her college education last week. Over the course of five years, she juggled part-time studies and the responsibilities of raising three children—including the birth of our youngest—while I maintained two jobs to support our family.
Throughout those demanding years, I often returned home late to find Sarah in her sweatpants, engrossed in her studies with bloodshot eyes, while our kids slept on the couch, absorbed in a movie playing on the TV. The demands of college transformed her into a night owl and an early riser, forcing her to squeeze study time into every available moment, often locking herself in a room while I was home just to focus.
When Sarah gave birth to our youngest daughter, Lily, just before spring term concluded, I recommended that she take the term off. However, she was adamant about continuing with her classes, even with a scheduled C-section approaching. Each day felt like a countdown, as she fought to stay ahead in her classes before Lily arrived. Despite her efforts, she found herself slightly behind due to the chaos of motherhood.
In the hospital, while I cradled our sleeping daughter, Sarah was propped up in bed, laptop balanced carefully near her stitches, participating in discussions and drafting papers, her expression a blend of pain and unwavering determination. I remember my own experience in college when our first son was born, standing in that same hospital room, a textbook in one hand and our newborn cradled in the other. My commitment to education was evident, yet I didn’t face the same challenges as Sarah did post-surgery.
Sarah’s dedication was truly extraordinary. A month later, she had to request an incomplete from her professors to finish her spring classes over the summer. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she made that request, feeling as though she had failed, despite her circumstances being more than justifiable. I assisted her in drafting emails to her professors, and she expressed her hope that they would be understanding. They were not only supportive but commended her for her strength and commitment to her education.
In the two years following Lily’s birth, I vividly remember trying to calm our toddler, Lily, who was in a fit of tears. When Sarah returned from class, she effortlessly scooped Lily into her arms, who melted against her, as if finding solace in her presence. With one hand, Sarah rocked Lily while simultaneously working on a term paper with the other—her multitasking abilities were nothing short of remarkable.
At least once each term, Sarah would reach her breaking point, especially around midterms, often expressing a desire to quit. “I just want to be a mom,” she would say. The phrase “just a mom” struck me, as if that role alone was less significant. However, being a mother encompasses a multitude of responsibilities, and the fact that she managed her studies alongside was nothing short of inspiring. She often worried about the time she spent away from our children, prompting me to take on the role of her cheerleader. “You’re doing amazing,” I would reassure her. “How can I help?”
Typically, she only needed assistance with little tasks like packing lunch, which seemed trivial to me but were vital during her most stressful times. Reflecting on those moments, especially her studying immediately after giving birth, I realized the extent of her struggles.
At graduation, our 6-year-old daughter, Ella, placed the tassel on Sarah’s cap. While Ella may not fully grasp the significance of her mother’s achievement now, I plan to share that moment with her in the future, illustrating the hard work and perseverance her mother exhibited for that moment on stage.
As I observed Sarah’s journey, it became clear that the challenges of motherhood are shared universally. According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, there were approximately 3.4 million student mothers in 2014. To all 3.4 million of you, I stand in admiration. Your commitment to both family and education is inspiring, and it deserves recognition. You are true champions, embodying a level of dedication that is profound.
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Summary
The journey of motherhood intertwined with academic pursuits is a formidable challenge, as illustrated by Sarah’s remarkable experience balancing studies and family life. Her dedication, resilience, and the universal struggles of student mothers deserve recognition and admiration.
Keyphrase: Mothers in Academia
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