In our household, extravagant vacations are not in the budget, so during this past spring break, we opted for a “staycation.” I was determined to make it memorable. I proposed a day at the local amusement park, a trip to the city, and allowed each child to choose their favorite nearby park. I filled our schedule with ideas like picnics, mural-making, and fun science projects.
“What do you want to do?” I inquired, trying to convey enthusiasm. I genuinely wanted our staycation to be enjoyable.
“Umm…” my 9-year-old replied, “I’d like to spend one afternoon playing Monopoly with you because you always say you’ll play but never do. And I want another day to work on that play script Daddy and I started a year ago but never finished.”
This unexpected response struck me. As a parent of multiple children, I constantly grapple with the concern that I’m not providing adequate one-on-one time for each child, but this moment made it starkly clear. I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me, recalling when he was just 5 years old and I was pregnant with his younger brother. I had longed for him to have a sibling, yet I worried that our special bond would vanish when his brother arrived.
Looking back, I realize I was partly correct, and this realization still lingers with me. My older son and I manage to carve out moments for crafts and baking, but these activities are often disrupted by his younger brother’s antics—like spilling batter or accidentally ruining a painting.
Sometimes, it feels like my second child has it tougher than the first. I spend my days with him while his older brother is at school, but life is different now. Early mornings to drop off his brother, endless errands, and an overall sense of fatigue make it challenging to recreate the carefree days I had with my first child.
Many parents of multiple children share this sense of guilt—an unending worry that they can’t provide sufficient quality time to each child. Despite these feelings, I have no regrets about having more than one child. The sibling bond they are forming, despite their frequent squabbles, is invaluable. They’re learning crucial life lessons about sharing, flexibility, and the reality that the world doesn’t revolve around their immediate desires.
Yet, I yearn to give each of them more. I wish it were easier to find uninterrupted time for engaging projects and meaningful conversations without the constant pull of competing needs. This thought weighs heavily on my heart.
We did end up playing Monopoly together. My partner entertained our younger child for a few hours while my older son and I retreated to his room. I hadn’t played the game in ages, so he guided me on property choices and strategies, impressing me with his math skills as we exchanged money.
The game itself was nothing extraordinary, just a simple afternoon filled with laughter and playful banter. Our toes brushed against each other as we played, and amidst the fun, our little one’s cries for attention interrupted us. As we wrapped up, I took a moment to savor the experience, reflecting on a time when it was just the two of us.
“I’m sorry we didn’t finish the game,” I said.
“It’s OK,” he replied, “I pretty much won anyway.”
I reassured him that I had a wonderful time, and his shy smile confirmed that he felt the same. As he dashed off to join his brother and father, I realized that these small moments of connection hold immense value.
Perhaps this is how it needs to be for now—imperfect and fragmented. I trust that my children will remember the joyful moments we shared rather than the incomplete ones. I intend to prioritize more afternoons like these, understanding that we don’t need grand plans; simply being together is what truly matters. I’ll also be kinder to myself regarding the inevitable feelings of inadequacy. Even fleeting moments carry significant weight for children, and I can provide that for them.
However, I acknowledge that the feeling of not doing enough will always linger, and that’s part of the parenting journey.
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In summary, parenting multiple children can be a challenging balancing act filled with moments of guilt and nostalgia. However, it’s essential to embrace the small, meaningful interactions that truly matter to your children. Through intentionality and self-compassion, parents can cultivate cherished memories, even when time feels limited.
Keyphrase: juggling time with children
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