Despite our best efforts, humanity continues to grapple with the challenge of coexisting peacefully. People inflict harm on one another for reasons that can often seem incomprehensible. This harsh reality is something we must confront with our children, a daunting task for any parent, especially for those with sensitive children like my youngest son, who battles anxiety.
My son is deeply empathetic, often moved to tears by the stories he sees on television. His compassion is a beautiful trait, allowing him to connect with others, but it also makes him vulnerable to heartache and disappointment. As a protective mother, my instinct is to shield him from pain.
When I learned of the tragic events in Orlando, my first thought was how to spare him from this harsh reality. I wanted to preserve his innocence at just 8 years old. Selfishly, I also feared the emotional toll it would take on him—and on me—in the days to come.
However, he inadvertently overheard an older child discussing the incident, which prompted him to seek answers from me, his trusted source. I considered downplaying the situation or dismissing it as unimportant, but I realized that would not do him justice. The truth is, this situation is significant, and it matters to us all—especially to our children.
Our kids are the ones who will inherit a world where love can lead to violence against individuals simply for who they love. They will grow up in communities where human life is not always valued, where they may witness such tragedies repeatedly as we lament but fail to advocate for change.
I want my son to be prepared for that future. I want him to understand that as his mother, I not only speak about equality, love, and kindness but actively stand up for these values. I want him to appreciate the importance of bravery, to feel pride in who he is, and to know that he can make a difference. Fear should not dictate our lives; empowerment should. I want him to recognize the wrongness of such acts and that silence is not an option.
So, we talked—openly and honestly—about the tragedy as much as he could grasp. I explained that the pain inflicted upon others also impacts us. This struggle is not theirs alone; it’s ours collectively. If some cannot be free, then none of us truly are. We can—and must—do better.
Here are some ways to guide children in comprehending the tragedy in Orlando and how they can contribute positively:
- Educate Yourself
Engage with the news, but recognize that this discussion extends beyond just staying informed. It’s about becoming a better advocate so your children can too. Familiarize yourself with the experiences of LGBTQ individuals in America. It’s not enough to claim allyship through casual acquaintances; genuine understanding is crucial. I continually educate myself to help my children comprehend terms like “queer” and “transgender” without fear or prejudice. - Open Dialogue
Encourage conversations not only about the tragedy but also about the broader struggles for human rights. Discuss the value of life, the need for acceptance, and the distinction between tolerance and true acceptance. Kids should know they can trust you to provide honest answers, even when some topics are complex. While some may shy away from discussing sexual orientation, instead, emphasize love, equality, empathy, and kindness as foundational values. - Avoid Irrelevant Discussions
Refrain from using this moment to criticize others’ lifestyles. Instead, seize the opportunity to educate and foster understanding. - Encourage Generosity
My son recognizes that monetary contributions can make a difference. He chose to donate $28—his entire leftover birthday money—to charities supporting those affected by the tragedy. I matched his donation, reinforcing the idea that every bit helps. You can also contribute through various organizations. - Promote Love Over Hate
Together, we brainstormed ways for kids of all ages to demonstrate their support. My son passionately created drawings with uplifting messages, aiming to remind those suffering that they are not alone. He believes they are part of our collective family and deserve our compassion. Encourage your children to create and share symbols of love using #ChooseLoveProject. Spreading kindness and understanding is essential to convey that all lives matter and deserve love.
This article was initially published on June 21, 2016.
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Summary:
In a world where violence often stems from intolerance, teaching our children to embrace love and kindness is paramount. By fostering open dialogue, promoting education, and encouraging empathy, we empower our kids to face a challenging future with hope and confidence. This article emphasizes the importance of addressing tragedies thoughtfully while instilling the values of acceptance and support in the next generation.
Keyphrase: Teaching Children to Embrace Love
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