Updated: June 17, 2016
Originally Published: June 17, 2016
As I sit on my bed, laptop perched on my lap, it’s 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning. My goal? To scroll through my entire Facebook News Feed before whisking my daughter off to her piano lesson at 10 a.m. It may not be a lofty ambition, but for a 37-year-old working mom, this digital connection is about as social as it gets. You might chuckle, but I noticed your thumbs-up on my last post, so I know you’re on there too.
Meanwhile, my husband has retreated for his daily “meeting with the governor,” and my kids are blissfully engaged in their rooms. I’ve tackled the morning chaos: fed, dressed, cleaned, and otherwise managed the household. Now, I’m ready to savor a precious moment of solitude.
However, when my husband finally emerges from his extended “business” session, this is what unfolds: My 3-year-old bursts into the room. “Mommy, can you do my hair? I want a twisty braid, not just straight down the back, but an Elsa side-braid with this purple ponytail holder!”
I respond, gritting my teeth, “Fine… (braiding furiously) …now please, just let me be.”
My husband chimes in, “That wasn’t nice! How could you tell her to go away? This is family time, and you should be bonding with her, not on Facebook.”
While he was occupied, I endured 458 interruptions—yes, I counted. I oversaw costume changes, negotiated disputes, and even reminded one child where to find her water. All told, I managed a single scroll of my Facebook feed during 20 minutes of supposed “me-time.”
If you’re the primary caregiver, you’ll recognize this as just another day in the life. We perform these monumental tasks daily, often so seamlessly that they become invisible to everyone around us. We don’t set out to be the family doormat, but between working mom guilt and the pressures of family life, we often prioritize everyone else’s needs above our own without even realizing it.
But what if we did notice? What if one day we collectively declared, “Enough is enough! I deserve 20 minutes to myself to do whatever I please, even if it’s just watching cat videos on YouTube!” What if we stopped the endless cycle of racing about, meeting societal expectations to become better, thinner, smarter versions of ourselves?
In our efforts to advance the women’s movement, we seem to have lost sight of our own identities. I know I have. My mother had no qualms about sending me outside to play while she enjoyed an entire romance novel, yet I struggle to justify a few minutes to glance at a Twitter notification. Even worse, I’ve allowed my family to forget that I, too, have passions unrelated to them.
This morning, as my husband hovers over me, I close my laptop and feel a wave of frustration. Instead of lashing out physically, I take a deep breath and try to express my feelings. I ask my children when they last did something nice for me—when was the last time they allowed me to sleep in, or even use the bathroom without interruptions? Their sad faces only fuel my resolve.
I gather remnants of my “mom” life—the last pairs of maternity pants, the dusty breast pump, and the baby monitor that once dictated my every move. I contemplate a dramatic gesture of liberation but ultimately opt for a quieter approach. I acknowledge my need for personal space and time.
My mother’s generation burned their bras; perhaps my generation is burning out instead. They had the right idea in fighting for personal freedom, and perhaps I need to reclaim my own.
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Summary
The article explores the challenges faced by working mothers, emphasizing the importance of self-care and personal time amidst family obligations. It reflects on the balance between nurturing family bonds and reclaiming individual interests, ultimately advocating for mothers to recognize and prioritize their own needs.
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Keyphrase: “working mom challenges”
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