What Lies Beneath the Surface of a Plus-Size Woman in Swimwear

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In the kitchen, I find myself stretching pre-made pizza dough—an item procured from one of those meal subscription boxes that initially entices with a free trial but eventually drains your wallet. The meals are marketed as “healthy” and “vegetarian,” though those terms often lack true alignment. As a vegetarian striving for health, I wrestle with this contradiction.

I aim for wellness. I attempt to eat mindfully, limiting my meat consumption while indulging in cheese and vegetables like Brussels sprouts and spinach. I scrutinize labels, opting to avoid products with “enriched” as their primary ingredient. Each morning, I whip up a green smoothie, blending chia seeds and flax—an invigorating concoction that I relish, picturing the antioxidants coursing through my body like a superhero’s power.

Yet, I also have a sweet tooth. Dessert holds a special place in my heart, and the evidence is apparent in the way my thighs may touch. My fondness for brie could be inferred from the gentle jiggle of my upper arm, which waves long after I’ve greeted someone. If judging by appearances is your style, then you might take stock of what you perceive.

But what about the healthy choices I make daily? Do you notice my affection for flax seeds reflected in the strength of my back? Can you see vitality in the clarity of my eyes or the lushness of my hair? Is the resilience of my bones evident, or the healthy sheen of my nails?

The notion that one’s appearance can single-handedly define health is simplistic. Can you truly assess a woman’s health by the size of her hips? Does being a size 12, 14, or 16 mean my life is any less valuable? Those who judge often rely on the numbers associated with clothing sizes rather than the meaningful metrics from medical tests. They may dismiss scientific findings in favor of societal standards, assuming they know everything about my health from a glance.

What concerns me is the perspective you hold. It’s not merely about how you see me; it’s about how I perceive your gaze. Whether I’m in a dress belting out karaoke, in comfortable pants ordering pasta, or wearing my vibrant green bathing suit at the beach, your scrutiny speaks volumes.

Consider These Facts

I possess strength. I can teach a young girl to ride a bike in just one afternoon and carry multiple bags of groceries in one trip with ease. My mind, fueled by flaxseeds and the occasional chocolate croissant, pens essays on love, youth, and the complexities of life.

Sometimes, while kneading pizza dough, my thighs may touch. There are moments when I am the only one capable of opening a stubborn jar of pickles. Once, I single-handedly moved a bed up two flights of stairs. These attributes are not visible in the contours of my body, yet they shape who I am.

What truly matters is not the size of my hips but the strength of my character and the kindness in my words. A girl at the beach once remarked, “I like that fat girl’s bathing suit!” as I passed by. I swam far enough to let the waves drown out her voice before returning.

I am the woman in the emerald bathing suit—a color reminiscent of a mermaid’s tail. “They only make this suit for plus-size women,” I remarked gently to the girl, who turned crimson. Perhaps she hadn’t intended any malice. I offered her a warm smile, understanding that her innocent comment may have stemmed from her own experiences.

Sometimes, the complexity of my personality, my evolving style, and the strength I possess far surpass any numerical measurement of my body.

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In summary, self-worth is not dictated by size. It’s about the hidden strengths, kindness, and resilience that define us as individuals.

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