As a child, I experienced corporal punishment firsthand. It was a frequent occurrence, with a hand delivering stinging reminders on my backside. However, the memory of the last time I was spanked is etched into my mind more than any other. My cousin and I were engaged in a game of Girl Talk when one of the dares prompted us to make a prank call. I picked up our vintage portable phone, complete with a long antenna, and dialed a random number. An elderly woman answered, “Hello?” to which I cheekily replied, “Bye!” before hanging up. We erupted in laughter, unaware of the repercussions.
What we didn’t know was that the woman could call back. Moments later, the phone rang again. “Hello?” I answered. A familiar voice requested to speak to my father. It was the same lady I had pranked. I handed the phone to my dad, who was already furious. I could hear his thunderous voice booming from downstairs, signaling that I had made yet another poor choice.
He yelled at both of us, but only I received a spanking as I walked by. The sharp sting was immediate. Instead of feeling remorse for my actions or empathy for the elderly woman, I was consumed by a mix of shame and rage. I thought to myself, “You can only hit me because you’re bigger than me.” In that moment, I vowed never to spank my own children.
As I matured, the memory lingered. Each instance of being spanked as a child filled me with a similar sense of shame and anger, reinforcing my promise. When I became pregnant, I declared, “My child will never be spanked.” While some acknowledged my stance, others shrugged it off, suggesting I would change my mind. However, I remained resolute that hitting my child would not be an option in our home.
This conviction was supported when we sought to become foster parents. During the application process, it was made clear that corporal punishment was unacceptable. While others in the room reacted with disbelief, I felt a sense of validation in my belief that parenting could be achieved without physical punishment. I embraced the principles of positive parenting, which advocated for time-outs, emotional understanding, and active listening—never resorting to hitting.
However, everything changed when I had three sons. On a particularly chaotic morning with my children aged 6, 4, and 2, I found myself in a disheveled house, attempting to apply makeup while the boys played nearby. The sounds of their playful sword fights turned into distressing screams. My oldest rushed to me in tears, claiming, “Leo bit me!” referring to his younger brother. Leo had been relentless in his antics that morning, and my eldest bore the marks of their tussle.
Frustration bubbled inside me, leading to a moment of blind rage. “Leo! Come here!” I shouted, and to his credit, he obeyed. I seized him by the arm and, in a fit of anger, spanked him hard. His shocked cry echoed in the bathroom as I released him, screaming, “Don’t ever bite your brother again!”
As he sat sobbing on the floor, I was reminded of my vow to never hit a child. I too began to cry, recognizing that I had strayed from the path of positive parenting. A core tenet of this approach is acknowledging one’s mistakes, which I often practiced. I knew I had to apologize, yet I struggled to find the right words.
“Leo? Sweetheart?” I knelt beside him, wrapping my arms around him. “I’m truly sorry for hitting you.”
“You hit me, Mama!” he exclaimed, filled with disbelief, as if a mother’s behavior should never include violence.
“Yes, I did. I acted out of anger, and for that, I am very sorry. I promise I won’t hit you again.”
“Do you promise?” my eldest asked, witnessing the exchange.
“I promise, my dear,” I reassured him.
Regrettably, once the door to spanking was opened, it became challenging to close again. I found myself making threats of corporal punishment, only for my children to remind me, “No hitting, Mama! You promised!” I had no choice but to acknowledge their validity. I reaffirmed my commitment: I would not hit my children again—I made a promise.
Moving forward, I hope this time I can uphold it. For those seeking guidance on navigating parenthood, consider exploring resources such as Healthline for comprehensive information on pregnancy and parenting strategies. If you’re interested in enhancing your fertility journey, check out this article for helpful suggestions, or explore the BabyMaker for effective home insemination options.
In summary, the journey of parenting is fraught with challenges, and the temptation to revert to old patterns can be strong. Recognizing one’s mistakes and committing to positive change is essential for growth, both as a parent and as an individual.
Keyphrase: Parenting without Spanking
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