It’s a situation that fills every parent with dread: receiving that phone call from the school principal requesting a meeting to discuss your child’s behavior. My heart sank as I braced myself for yet another conversation about my son’s challenges. To add to my discomfort, these meetings are always held at inconvenient times, and I found myself uncomfortably perched in those tiny chairs meant for children, reminiscent of my own school days when I was in trouble.
During the meeting, the principal detailed the familiar issues concerning my 5-year-old son, Leo, noting his struggles to adapt in the classroom and his disruptive interactions with peers and teachers. Instead of the typical queries about potential solutions from a non-expert, the director surprised me by introducing the concept of sensory processing disorder (SPD). She handed me a brochure about an organization called LifeSkills, igniting a flicker of hope in my otherwise anxious heart.
Shortly after, I found myself on the phone with a representative from LifeSkills. In just a brief five-minute conversation, it felt as though we had uncovered a crucial piece to the intricate puzzle of Leo’s behavior.
Understanding Sensory Processing Disorder
Sensory processing refers to how a child’s nervous system interprets messages related to sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell, and how they respond to these stimuli. For children with sensory challenges, their brains struggle to organize the signals from their environment, leading to inappropriate reactions. SPD manifests in various forms, including sensory over-responsivity, sensory under-responsivity, and sensory seeking behaviors.
Leo has always been averse to being touched by unfamiliar people. If someone invades his personal space or snatches a toy, he reacts with anger. He refuses to wear socks, still uses pull-ups at night, and is easily overwhelmed by noisy settings—school classrooms being particularly distressing. I vividly remember a moment in a chaotic doctor’s waiting room when Leo shouted for everyone to be quiet. He is also sensitive to smells, often demanding to eat in a separate room to avoid the scents of our meals. Yet, when it comes to something like ice cream, he joyfully makes a mess, with it smeared all over his face and hands. Mornings are slow, and any shift in routine sends him into a tailspin. Initially, we chalked up these behaviors to mere defiance.
Later that day, while at the park, a neighbor inquired about Leo’s school situation. I hesitated, revealing that we had switched schools after being asked to leave a previous one. To my surprise, she confessed that her son had faced similar challenges due to sensory processing disorder. This moment of vulnerability opened the door to a new understanding.
Within a day, I had engaged in three enlightening conversations about SPD, a topic I had known nothing about just hours before. Soon after, my neighbor delivered a book titled Sensational Kids by Lucy Jane Miller, promising to return to discuss the experiences and strategies they utilized with their son, who is now thriving at age 12.
Diagnosis and Support
Leo underwent an evaluation, and the diagnosis confirmed our suspicions: he was indeed experiencing sensory processing disorder. Unfortunately, public schools and insurance companies have yet to formally recognize SPD, so Leo was diagnosed with dyspraxia (motor planning difficulties), hypotonia (low muscle tone), and coordination disorder. Simple tasks like walking heel-to-toe for eight steps or holding a cannonball position for longer than two seconds proved impossible for him. He struggled to hold eye contact and could not draw a simple square or write his name legibly, not due to a lack of intelligence or effort, but because his body was not receiving the right signals.
Realizing how little I understood about his struggles brought tears to my eyes. However, with each revelation, we drew closer to supporting him effectively. We discovered that the muscles in the mouth develop before those in the hands, which explained Leo’s long-standing speech therapy sessions. He often chews on his collar, leaving holes in his shirts, and has a craving for hot chocolate, chewing gum, and salt-and-vinegar chips, which serve to stimulate his oral senses.
Leo finds joy in riding his bike and kayaking, activities that provide predictable movements that his body instinctively knows how to perform. There’s still hope that he may excel in sports one day, much to my husband’s relief.
Occupational Therapy and Future Hopes
The key to addressing these challenges is occupational therapy. Leo enjoys his sessions with his occupational therapist, who visits his school weekly. Interestingly, she transitioned from engineering to occupational therapy to assist her own son with sensory processing disorder.
As the fall approaches, I worry about Leo’s readiness for kindergarten. Every parent desires for their child to fit in and thrive. However, in the weeks following that daunting conference, I found renewed hope and gratitude. We are fortunate to have a school willing to collaborate with us.
I am also grateful for the support of friends and family who believe in Leo’s potential. On the night of the school meeting, a friend left an encouraging note on my porch alongside a bottle of wine called Dark Horse. A reassuring word from another mom and knowing that someone understands your child is invaluable.
Most importantly, the gift for Leo is that we, as his parents and teachers, are beginning to grasp the complexities of his experiences. With this newfound understanding, we can offer him the time, patience, and empathy necessary for him to navigate and flourish in this challenging world.
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In summary, understanding and addressing sensory processing disorder has been a transformative journey for my family. By recognizing the signs and seeking appropriate help, I have discovered ways to empower my son, Leo, to thrive amidst his challenges.
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