By: Emily Carter
Updated: June 5, 2016
Originally Published: June 5, 2016
I have a truth to share, one that weighs heavily on my heart. Admitting this isn’t easy for me…
“Mom! Jake is outside! You have to let me play with him!” my 7-year-old, Mia, exclaimed, her voice ringing through the open front door as swarms of insects made their way into my living room.
“Alright, Mia. But remember to stay in the yard.”
“Why do I always have to stay in the yard?” she shot back before racing out.
It’s time for me to come clean. Holding this in is becoming unbearable…
“Do you want me to grab dinner on my way home?” my husband texted.
“Sure,” I replied, hoping it would be something simple.
I have a truth to share, and keeping it bottled up may just drive me to the edge…
“What do you feel like?”
“Surprise me,” I responded.
Next door lives a little boy named Timmy. He’s 5, and let me tell you, he’s as polite, kind, and cooperative as they come. A near-perfect child in every sense.
Although Mia possesses many of the same admirable qualities as Timmy, most people rarely witness that side of her. She has what specialists refer to as oppositional defiant disorder—not an easy label. In layman’s terms, she often says no to everything…
(Ding Dong)
Who could that be? Maybe they’ll just go away…
…including the simple tasks that most children typically resist, such as brushing their teeth, taking a bath, or eating their…
(Ding dong, ding dong)
Are you kidding me?
“Good afternoon, ma’am, I’m with the local…”
When did I become “ma’am”?
“Sorry, not interested,” I said, shutting the door.
Those darn solicitors…
Mia’s defiance extends beyond the usual childhood complaints. She protests even the things she enjoys, like ice cream or movie outings. By “protests,” I mean she will throw herself on the floor in the store, screaming as if she’s been wronged, causing onlookers to judge me as a parent.
The admission I dread is that I…
“Mom! Timmy’s trying to get me to ride bikes, but I don’t want to ride bikes!”
Oh, my life is a circus.
“Mia, you don’t have to ride bikes if you don’t want to. You can use your scooter instead.”
“I hate my scooter!” she cried, her voice reaching a fever pitch.
But she loves her scooter.
“Dinner’s ready! I got some Italian takeout,” my husband announced as he walked through the door.
“No! I hate Italian food!” Mia shouted, stomping her foot.
She doesn’t hate it.
“I’m not eating that!”
I left her to argue with her father, wondering how many times she would kick the ground before it brought her to tears or worse…
I resent my daughter’s little friend, not because he’s misbehaved, but because he’s so easygoing.
I envy that his mother rarely has to remind him to brush his teeth, tidy up after play, or get into the bath. Timmy will be that child sitting patiently in kindergarten, while mine is sitting apart, struggling to follow classroom rules.
He won’t face rejection or be teased for being “difficult” or a “troublemaker.”
Having Timmy around only amplifies my child’s challenges and brings my own shortcomings as a parent to light. I wish my daughter didn’t always have the reputation of being the difficult one, you know?
“Do you want to smash toy cars?” Timmy asked.
“Sure! That sounds fun!” Mia replied, her mood shifting.
“Awesome! You’re my best friend!” Timmy exclaimed.
“Really? You are?” Mia asked, her face lighting up.
“Yes!”
“Okay, then you’re mine too,” Mia said with a smile.
Dinner from the carton has never tasted this good.
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Summary:
The journey of parenting a challenging child reveals deep personal struggles and societal comparisons. As Mia grapples with her defiance, her interactions with her neighbor Timmy highlight her difficulties and the complexities of parenting. A candid look into the emotional highs and lows of raising a child with oppositional defiant disorder, this narrative underscores the need for compassion and understanding in the parenting community.
Keyphrase: Parenting a difficult child
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