As I Rest Next to My Child: A Reflection on Childhood

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In my current parenting journey, which now spans over eight years, I find myself in a routine where my 2-year-old son expects me to spend a significant portion of his naptime lying beside him. This isn’t a strict requirement, but it has become an unwritten rule in our household. If I don’t join him, his nap is likely to be shorter, resulting in a cranky little one. So, as soon as he stirs, I make my way over. During these moments, I often scroll through social media, jot down a thought using my phone’s Notes app, or simply close my eyes for a brief respite.

My perspective on parenting has evolved over the years. Initially, I was much more analytical about my choices, especially as a first-time mom. I lean towards a more attachment-oriented approach, yet my actions now feel like a natural part of life rather than something to dissect. It works for us, and if it doesn’t, I’m usually too exhausted to ponder the reasons why.

This afternoon, a thought struck me: there are many parents who cannot, or choose not to, spend their children’s naptime in this way. Some may be working mothers, others might have older children to care for during that time. Many kids find comfort in stuffed animals, blankets, or pacifiers, while some simply don’t require the same level of sleep assistance that my son does. I understand that every parent and child has to find their own rhythm.

Recently, at my older son’s school, they held a Pajama Day where he was encouraged to wear his favorite pajamas and bring along a cherished stuffed animal. It was amusing when he joked, “I guess I’d need to bring you along that day, Mom.” Although he no longer shares a bed with us, we still spend time together each night as I help him drift off to sleep, often staying until he is fully asleep.

In contrast, my 2-year-old still demands a significant amount of my presence. He sleeps next to me throughout the night and requires my company during his naps. I realize that this level of closeness and dependency isn’t for everyone; I sometimes forget how peculiar it seems to others, as it has become second nature to me.

So why do I continue this practice? It began partly out of convenience; attending to my babies’ cries was simpler than exploring alternative soothing methods. But there’s more to it than that. I do it because I want to hold onto their childhoods as tightly as I can. I know that this phase of life won’t last forever. Independence will come in its own time, and the pace of life with children only quickens as they grow. My older son is already at an age where he rarely seeks cuddles, and soon, he’ll prefer to retreat to his room alone, shutting the door behind him.

My 2-year-old, however, still craves my embrace. He fits perfectly against me, and on warm May nights, the scent of his damp hair reminds me so much of his baby days. The thought of this closeness ending is painful, and I want to savor every moment while I can.

Even when I feel frustrated by interruptions to my personal time, or when I yearn for a bit of solitude, I still find myself drawn to him. I lie in the dark, often waiting, sometimes resting, and occasionally getting lost in thoughts or on my phone. In these moments, I am cherishing the time we have together, trying to pause the fleeting nature of childhood, and simply holding on.

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Summary

This piece reflects on the intimate moments shared between a parent and child during naptime, emphasizing the importance of cherishing childhood while acknowledging the differing needs of families. It highlights the balance between nurturing closeness and recognizing the inevitable independence that comes with growth.

Keyphrase: Parenting and Cherishing Childhood

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