Once again, the tooth fairy has failed to make her appearance.
Honestly, I felt a surge of frustration that nearly made me want to confront her. How difficult can it be to visit a house and slip a few coins beneath my daughter’s pillow? Is she juggling multiple households? Perhaps she’s pulling double duty for some celebrity family? Because it certainly seems like every child has their own dedicated tooth fairy—explaining why some kids wake up to an iPad or even a pony, while my children are lucky if they find a couple of bucks.
This morning, when I entered my 7-year-old daughter’s room, her expression was heart-wrenchingly sad. Her three siblings, all close in age, stood around her bed like mourners at a funeral, their faces filled with disappointment.
“What’s happening in here?” I clapped my hands to disperse the crowd. “Come on! It’s a school day!”
“You must have kept her up too late last night,” my daughter accused dramatically, her face a picture of sorrow as she looked up at me.
All eyes turned toward me, and I scanned the room for clues about what had transpired. That’s when I noticed the elaborate letter my daughter had penned to the tooth fairy, still peeking out from under her pillow.
“What? I mean, I was up late last night! Cleaning! Yes, that’s right!” I stammered, trying to concoct a plausible excuse. “And I heard a noise outside, like a dog rummaging through the compost. But when I checked, no one was there. You know, it was around midnight. That fairy…she must be a bit of a coward. Honestly, what a lousy fairy she is,” I muttered, backing out of the room.
“It’s okay, Mama. Just try to go to bed early tonight, alright?”
“Sure, definitely. But you have to remind me, okay? If she doesn’t show up tonight, I’ll make it up to you.”
I’m so over this fairy’s laziness. It’s her one job, and she can’t even get that right. I can’t help but wonder where they find these fairies. Did she get kicked out of the fairy realm for failing as a woodland sprite or a tinker fairy? She seems like a washed-up has-been, and I want to give her a piece of my mind.
The first time the tooth fairy forgot to come, it was for my son, who is my daughter’s twin. That morning, she offered him a silver dollar as consolation, having visited two days prior. After all, twins have a way of losing teeth in quick succession.
Come to think of it, there was that one weekend when she collected four teeth from three kids in our household, and she even managed to visit while we were away. She left behind two Susan B. Anthonys, a Sacagawea coin, and a two-dollar bill—hardly something you see these days. But no one recalls when the fairy actually shows up, do they?
In a twist of irony, I wanted to point out to my crestfallen children that both times she “got scared away,” the child in question had left her an elaborate letter asking for a questionnaire and a self-portrait. That’s a tall order for a fairy to fulfill without causing a commotion, wouldn’t you agree?
My youngest, a 5-year-old, stood apart from the rest, her hand in her mouth, gently wiggling her bottom two teeth. She hasn’t lost any baby teeth yet, and with three loose ones, she’s on the verge of looking like a jack-o-lantern. I suspect she’s been avoiding it, and I keep reminding her that she’s not allowed to lose any teeth—because once that starts, the days of magical beings sneaking into our home at night will be numbered.
I am certain she’ll make an appearance tonight, probably with a half-hearted apology and some excuse about being distracted by people being awake. There will likely be glitter involved and maybe even an extra coin as a peace offering. After all, that’s what she did last time.
Everyone will likely forgive her, but I won’t. I’ll still want to confront that lazy fairy, shaking my fist at her for the precious moments of magic she’s squandered.
In the end, there are only so many teeth to collect, only so many opportunities to keep the magic alive. And she has failed, yet again.
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Summary
The article explores the frustrations of a mother dealing with the tooth fairy’s repeated failures to collect her children’s teeth, mixing humor with relatable parenting struggles. It touches on the fleeting nature of childhood magic and the inevitable passage of time as children grow up and lose their teeth. Resources for home insemination are also included for readers interested in family planning.
Keyphrase: tooth fairy struggles
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