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- The Days We Cherish (And Those That Challenge Us)
by Lila Thompson
Date: May 24, 2023
Image credit: Robert de Bock / TookaPic.com
These are the moments, they tell us. The ones we’ll reminisce about fondly as we grow older. The daily cuddles will eventually fade, leaving us longing for the scent of their baby shampoo. Those nights filled with kisses will swiftly transform into sneaks out of the house and slamming doors. We will find ourselves pining for the simplicity of time-outs and obligatory apologies, or so they say.
In this very moment, it feels as though those days are a distant dream. I adore my little treasures more than anything in the world. Yes, I’d face dangers for them without hesitation. I would gladly traverse flames to ensure their perpetual joy. Yet, I could certainly do without the surprise bedtime antics, the unfortunate accidents in their underwear, and moments that rival the most dramatic portrayals of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
When immersed in the chaotic world of toddlers, it’s hard to grasp the broader perspective. Sure, there’s no shortage of sentimental letters urging us to engage in one more glitter project. But what about those days when the thought of glue, playdough, and feather boas feels utterly exhausting? The days when I simply lack the energy to separate them as they argue over the Elmo doll? The days when bath time feels like a luxury we can’t afford because all energy was spent by lunchtime. Does that make us less grateful?
The internet certainly seems to suggest so. Perfectly curated images of seemingly flawless moms with boundless energy abound, who appear to live in a world of rainbows. We see smiling faces making delightful messes in the kitchen with shaving cream and crayons, while posts insist that we should respond to every whim our child expresses, lest they become future criminals. But this online narrative is misleading. It only showcases the highlights and ignores the reality behind those days.
It conveniently omits the ten minutes of wailing that precede the perfect snapshot. It doesn’t reveal the mom muttering expletives under her breath while scrubbing the bathroom floor for the umpteenth time, as her son overlooks the toilet entirely. There’s no visibility into the tattered, stained shirt I’m wearing for the third morning in a row during school drop-off. It fails to illustrate the real-life effects of these days.
I don’t wish to appear ungrateful for the moments I share with my boys. I recognize that this new chapter in my life is not merely a duty but a remarkable gift. With every ounce of my being, I strive to nurture them into kind, respectful, and well-rounded individuals. Yet, I know that these days will improve, and only in hindsight will they take on a magical glow.
Some days we will explore dinosaur exhibits, sparking hours of imaginative play. Other days, we’ll tackle schoolwork and learn to count independently. We’ll embark on nature walks discussing our favorite books. There will be gatherings with friends and family filled with endless laughter. Some nights, the boys will chase fireflies and revel in their wonder before reluctantly releasing them after bedtime. Some days will indeed be extraordinary.
But there will also be days where we stay in pajamas, indulge in TV marathons, and witness our child becoming engrossed in a popcorn bucket and an empty coffee cup, despite a plethora of toys nearby. Some days will involve countless time-outs and still result in sibling squabbles over a toy train. There will be days where negotiating over peas feels like bargaining with a terrorist. We will leave grocery stores with our dignity in tatters, hearing the wails of a child over a mere bag of goldfish. There will be days when I sneak bonbons while engaging in a game of hide-and-seek. Some of these days will truly test our patience.
Years from now, as I gaze upon the young men my boys will become, I will feel immense gratitude for our shared journey. I’ll reflect on the beautiful tapestry of memories we’ve woven together. I know those memories will encompass not just the enchanting moments that made me feel like a supermom, but also the mundane and messy days of cleaning up spills, dealing with accidents, and lazy afternoons. I will gradually let go of the days that felt overwhelming and forgive myself for feeling inadequate. In time, these days will blend into one collective experience.
But for now, as I navigate the tumultuous terrain of toddlerhood, I resolve to end each day feeling accomplished, knowing my children had meals (even if they weren’t all nutritious), played with their toys (even if they were generic), and wore clothes (even if they were hand-me-downs). Some days will be etched into our memories, while others I’ll strive to forget.
While I appreciate reminders from those who have weathered this storm that these are the days, right now, as I wrestle with a screaming toddler at the park, attempt to sneak a shower during their brief nap, and eye my husband enviously while hastily eating at a kid-friendly restaurant, I don’t need to be reminded. I’m already acutely aware that some days, I can’t wait for them to become just memories.
Summary
The journey of parenting is filled with both cherished moments and challenging days. While we often hear that “these are the days” we will fondly remember, the reality of daily life can be overwhelming and messy. From joyous explorations and laughter-filled gatherings to frustrating tantrums and chaotic routines, the experience is a mix of highs and lows. As we navigate the trenches of toddlerhood, it’s crucial to recognize that not every day will be perfect, and that’s okay. In the end, all these experiences contribute to the beautiful tapestry of memories we will reflect on in the future.
Keyphrase: Parenting challenges and joys
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