What You Might Not Understand When You See Me on My Phone with My Children

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You may recognize me—or think you do. Perhaps you’ve spotted me at the playground, sitting on a bench with my eyes glued to my phone while my kids swing and climb. Or maybe you’ve noticed me in a grocery store line, scrolling through my screen as my children plead for my attention. I’m the mom multitasking at a restaurant, feeding my kids with one hand while tapping away with the other. You might label me as “that” mom—the one glued to her phone while supposedly spending quality time with her kids.

You may wonder what kind of mother prioritizes her device over her children. It’s easy to assume I’m disengaged, oblivious to the joys and antics unfolding right in front of me. But here’s what you don’t see.

Finding Balance

When I’m at the park, I’m taking a much-needed breather. We homeschool, which means I’m engaged with my children throughout the day—teaching, playing, and learning together. The park serves as a rare oasis where my kids are absorbed in their play, allowing me a moment to catch up with friends or attend to work-related tasks.

Speaking of work, I haven’t mentioned that I run a home-based writing business. This career, which I adore, enables me to balance my professional life with homeschooling. Consequently, there are times when I need to review documents while my kids enjoy the park. There are moments when I must reply to emails in the grocery line, even as they ask for things I’ve already declined. Sometimes inspiration strikes during my child’s karate class, prompting me to jot down article ideas on my phone.

Staying Connected

Moreover, the demands of homeschooling and working from home can make adult interaction scarce. So, when you see me on my phone, I might be connecting with old friends on social media, texting my spouse—because my marriage is just as vital as my role as a mother—or planning a visit to see my elderly grandmother, who is 90 and in need of my time. I might even be sharing silly Bitmoji exchanges with my best friend, which helps alleviate the stresses of my busy life.

Staying Organized

In addition, I utilize this time to stay organized. At the park, I might be searching for time management strategies. At the grocery store, I could be looking up quick and nutritious dinner recipes. When dining out, I may be checking my calendar to carve out special one-on-one time with each of my children, as individual moments together are rare despite our daily interactions.

Some days, I might review our family budget or search for exciting field trip destinations. I could even be indulging in a book on my Kindle app while the kids remain entertained.

Finding the Right Balance

My phone is a tool that permits me to remain present with my children while also managing our family life without feeling overwhelmed. If I avoided my phone entirely when the kids are around, I would struggle to balance my homeschooling and work commitments.

Yes, you might have seen me and perhaps shaken your head, thinking I’m more focused on my phone than on my children. In those moments, I might have seemed absorbed, but it’s important to remember that you don’t know my story—or the stories of other mothers in similar situations. That mom could have just spent hours engaging with her kids, or she might be fulfilling work obligations to support her family. Perhaps she’s practicing self-care, a concept we often talk about but find difficult to implement.

Final Thoughts

So, next time you see me on my phone, please refrain from judging my parenting, as everything is under control. I’m not neglectful, and my children are not lacking my attention—they receive plenty of it. In fact, those moments away from my phone are likely appreciated just as much by them as they are by me.

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In summary, my phone allows me to effectively juggle the demands of motherhood and work while ensuring my children thrive.

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