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I chose a hospital for my children’s births. Despite the shiny, sterile equipment and the presence of medical professionals, I appreciated the epidurals that helped ease my experience. While this method isn’t for everyone, it certainly suited my needs.
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Disposable diapers are my go-to. Let’s face it: cloth diapers might be eco-friendly, but the thought of rinsing out baby poop is overwhelming for me.
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I don’t make my own jams from homegrown raspberries. With a busy life, canning just isn’t on my agenda.
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My children have a collection of plastic toys. Ironically, they often prefer natural playthings like rocks and sticks over their plastic options.
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Vaccinations are part of our routine. I stick to the pediatrician’s recommended schedule, which has worked well for our family.
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Co-sleeping isn’t for us. Quality sleep is critical for my parenting ability, and I need my own space at night.
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I sometimes forget my reusable shopping bags. I know it’s frowned upon, and I often find myself apologizing at checkout, rather than admitting I simply forgot.
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If we had to cultivate our own food, we’d probably starve. I can’t keep a garden alive to save my life.
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Yes, I buy Velveeta. There’s something about that melty cheese that I can’t resist—let’s keep it between us, though.
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My motivation for yoga is purely aesthetic. When asked to set an intention, I always think about getting a better figure.
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We’re not vegans or vegetarians. Bacon is a staple in our household; it enhances everything, even during a viewing of Charlotte’s Web.
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We enjoy various entertainment options. We don’t own a traditional television, but we have every other streaming device imaginable.
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I wear shoes and bras—most days. If I’m headed somewhere nice, it’s a must.
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Soap is part of my hygiene routine. I must confess, I don’t shower daily, but soap is still a necessity in my life.
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I don’t grind my own flour for baking. Honestly, I wouldn’t even know where to start with that process.
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I don’t believe coconut oil is a universal remedy. It’s effective for some things but not all.
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We seek medical attention when ill. I trust doctors to provide the best care for us when needed.
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Homeschooling isn’t an option I consider. My kids appreciate riding the bus to public school, and I’ve found that a little distance can be beneficial.
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I don’t believe in using Brewer’s yeast as popcorn seasoning. If you haven’t encountered this culinary disaster, consider yourself fortunate.
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I’ve never attempted to make kale chips. I’m sure this will lead to my expulsion from the crunchy community.
I embrace what works for me, and I recognize that I often fall short of the crunchy ideal. So, my earthy friends, please don’t abandon me—but maybe skip the placenta-themed gatherings.
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Summary
In this article, I reflect on the many ways I diverge from the “crunchy” parenting lifestyle. From opting for hospital births to using disposable diapers, my approach is far from traditional. I acknowledge my shortcomings, yet I embrace what works for my family. Whether it’s relying on modern conveniences or trusting medical professionals, I navigate parenting in a way that suits us best.
Keyphrase: crunchy parenting fails
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