Parenting
By Clara Thompson
Updated: May 14, 2023
Originally Published: May 14, 2023
Loving my daughter sometimes feels like gazing into a mirror—her expressions, gestures, and those moments when she drifts away into her own thoughts. Often, I think, she embodies the part of me that might avoid the need for therapy later in life. Yet, I am reminded that she is navigating middle school, a time notorious for its emotional turbulence. Who among us doesn’t carry a few scars from that period?
I recall a particularly embarrassing incident during my own middle school years. A trip to a haunted house left me utterly terrified, leading to an unfortunate mishap. I still remember that long ride home, clutching a plastic bag meant for candy, feeling utterly mortified. Middle school can be ruthless.
A few months back, my daughter opened up about a painful experience where unkind words left her feeling humiliated in front of her peers. She expressed how those words struck her deeply, impacting her in ways that linger long after. I held her tight as she struggled to articulate her feelings, and when she finished, she simply said, “I needed to let that out.” In the safety of our home, she released her emotions, and I hoped my embrace could soothe her pain.
She is tender-hearted, intelligent, and the world may attempt to convince her that she needs to develop a tougher exterior. However, if she is courageous, she will learn that her sensitivity is not a flaw. Instead, she must find a way to transform her pain into a source of strength in her faith, not a reason to harden. I can’t shield her from life’s challenges, though I wish I could.
For much of her childhood, I have been eager to prevent her from falling. Just weeks ago, she returned home thrilled about her new knee pads for volleyball—purchased not only as a precaution but to give her the confidence to take risks. I realized, however, that there are many parts of her life where no padding exists. I cannot protect her from hurtful comments or make her falls less painful.
What I can do is teach her that embracing her gentleness is a form of strength. I can share my own stories of vulnerability, including my own falls without any cushioning, and how I’ve emerged from those experiences still standing. When she cried, I didn’t tell her to stop; I encouraged her to cry as long as necessary.
I can’t pinpoint when I discovered that being soft doesn’t equate to weakness, but I know that after accepting my emotional depth, I became unapologetically tender. Experiencing life’s highs and lows fully means truly living. Without the moments of stumbling, I wouldn’t appreciate the feeling of standing tall.
Moving forward, I realize I need to replace my constant warnings to “be careful” with encouragement to “be brave.” She should feel empowered to fall and to express her feelings freely. Life is too rich to be spent avoiding pain.
Summary:
Navigating the challenges of middle school can be tough for sensitive children. Instead of pushing them to develop a tougher exterior, it’s crucial to embrace their gentleness as a unique strength. Encouraging open expression of emotions can help them transform pain into resilience. The journey of parenting involves teaching children to be courageous in the face of adversity and to appreciate the lessons learned from their falls.
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Keyphrase: sensitive child parenting
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