Every morning begins with a flurry of activity as my children leap excitedly onto our bed. We have a queen-sized mattress connected to a single mattress on the floor to accommodate our co-sleeping arrangement. For my young boys, this setup becomes an inviting trampoline. The risk of injury is minimal; they can bounce away without serious consequences.
They scatter the sheets, bump into one another, and squeal with delight. Despite my instinct to intervene, I often find myself reluctantly agreeing, “Sure, you can jump on the bed, but please avoid somersaulting over the baby.”
Saying “yes” to my kids can be joyous and easy at times. “Yes, you can wear your superhero costume to the park!” or “Yes, you can have a scoop of ice cream for breakfast today!” Yet, there are moments when agreeing feels like a strain, challenging my parental instincts and testing my patience. It’s not always lighthearted.
Take coloring, for example. I enjoy it and tend to prefer staying within the lines—after all, that’s the traditional approach to creating a picture. However, my boys sometimes opt for abstract, vibrant splashes of color over a beloved character. I might find their creations unappealing and wonder if they could have used a blank sheet instead.
When I question, “Why not color inside the lines?” I see their excitement fade. They have their own vision, one that doesn’t align with my expectations. In these moments, I realize that adjusting my expectations is crucial to embracing a more affirmative approach.
As parents, we often internalize a reflexive “no.” We believe that certain behaviors, like drawing on faces with markers or jumping in puddles, are off-limits. Yet, it’s vital to open our minds and see the world through our children’s perspective. Beds can be for jumping, ketchup might enhance chips, and getting muddy can simply be about having fun—there’s always time to clean up later.
Saying “yes” can lead to messy faces, mismatched outfits, and unconventional choices like climbing up slides instead of sliding down. We may become the subject of envy from other parents: Why do they get to jump in the mud while I must stay clean? Or why can’t I wade in the creek wearing my favorite dress? Some might even disapprove of the chaos we create.
Recently, my son donned his Darth Vader costume during a trip to the store. We received smiles and high-fives from fellow shoppers, and a teenager remarked, “If you can’t go to the store dressed as Darth Vader at five, when can you?”
Children only experience being five once. Now is the time to cast aside that ingrained “no.” There will be plenty of opportunities for them to conform to societal norms in the future. Therefore, let’s gift them a resounding “yes” now, and indulge ourselves in that freedom too.
Breathe deeply, relax your expectations, and simply say yes.
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In summary, embracing the practice of saying “yes” can transform parenting, allowing for creativity and exploration while fostering a joyful environment for both children and parents.
Keyphrase: Embracing ‘Yes’ in Parenting
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