Menu Lifestyle
By Jamie Collins
Updated: Dec. 1, 2023
Originally Published: May 8, 2016
To simplify daily life, some individuals adopt a monthly meal prep strategy, wherein they shop for, prepare, and cook an entire month’s worth of meals in one day, subsequently freezing the dishes for later use. However, I am not one of those individuals.
The concept of stashing 30 days’ worth of reheatable dinners in my freezer, akin to a doomsday prepper’s stash, is appealing. However, it requires far more organization than I possess—and a freezer akin to those found at wholesale stores. Moreover, even my most meticulous plans tend to unravel due to my family’s chaotic schedule. When you add the typical madness of the evening meal prep hour, it’s no wonder I steer clear of once-a-month cooking.
However, I convinced myself that I could manage a mere week of meal planning. So, one Sunday afternoon, I set out to create my weekly dining schedule. I anticipated that having a dinner plan would streamline our weeknights and ensure I had all necessary ingredients on hand. It seemed straightforward enough.
Yet, midway through the week, my well-structured meal plan took a drastic turn, transforming into a culinary catastrophe one disappointing dinner at a time. Here’s how the week unfolded:
Meatless Monday
I prepared a foolproof Vegetable Soup, hoping to sway my meat-loving family to embrace healthier choices, even if just once a week. However, my carnivorous crew was not impressed with the absence of meat in their meal. My partner, Mark, stealthily shunted the carrots aside, while the kids scrutinized their soup, exclaiming, “Ew! What’s that green stuff floating next to the potato?” I hesitated and labeled it parsley, knowing I would face karmic repercussions for trying to pass off chopped kale. After some persuasion and a few reluctant spoonfuls, my picky teens pushed their bowls away, claiming they were “full” as they grabbed extra bread and dashed upstairs. Day One: Fail.
Tasty Tuesday
Tonight, I aimed to impress with a gourmet dish, taking inspiration from renowned chefs. Channeling my inner culinary expert, I crafted an elegant meal of chicken topped with Asiago cheese and basil, oven-roasted dill carrots, and penne pasta adorned with roasted red peppers, garlic, and sun-dried tomatoes. Just as I plated the piping hot feast, family plans derailed: Mark had to work late, my older son had a school project, and my younger son’s soccer practice was rescheduled. After keeping the meal warm for an extra two hours, my gourmet creation morphed into a charred disaster. I was 0-2.
Win-Them-Back Wednesday
In a bid to please everyone, I prepared a family favorite: a slow-cooked chili. I tossed beef, onions, herbs, and diced tomatoes into the crockpot, setting it to simmer for our busy day ahead. Eight exhausting hours later, we returned home, eager to be greeted by a warm chili aroma. To my dismay, I discovered the cord lying next to the crockpot like a limp snake—I had forgotten to plug it in! The meal sat raw and bloody in the cold crockpot, practically mooing at me when I opened the lid. In desperation, I grabbed tortilla chips and salsa and dubbed it a makeshift Tex-Mex appetizer. Clearly, I was failing at meal planning.
Thankless Thursday
After three unsuccessful attempts, I cursed my meal plan and resorted to canned soup, wondering if anyone would notice it wasn’t homemade. My sons surprisingly praised the soup, encouraging me to “make this more often.” I had to stifle my eye-roll. Why do I even bother?
Free-for-All Friday
With everyone’s schedules in disarray, I abandoned the notion of a family dinner. My older son had a food court meal with friends before a movie, while my younger son snacked on a PB&J in the car to his soccer game. I munched on pretzels and chugged water as I drove him. As for Mark, he hoped to grab a hot dog at halftime if he remembered to bring cash. My meal plan was gasping for air.
Suck-It Saturday
By the weekend, tempers flared. The boys were bickering, Mark was wrestling with plumbing issues, and I found myself crying into my cookbook, tossing frozen fish sticks at the kids while running for the door, pretending not to hear their pleas for “just one more chance.”
Sanity-Saving Sunday
Tonight, I found myself dining solo with a glass of wine, buried in a copy of Erma Bombeck’s Aunt Erma’s Cope Book, reminding myself that I cannot simply opt out of family life. As I surveyed the stack of untried recipes on the counter, I realized it might be time to support local businesses instead. I picked up the phone and heard the delightful words that warmed my meal-planning heart: “China Wok, may I help you?”
I commend those proficient meal planners who seem to have it all figured out. As for the rest of us, we remain eternally grateful for takeout options.
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Summary
In this humorous account, Jamie Collins navigates a week of meal planning chaos, from failed attempts at cooking healthy meals to the realities of family schedules. Each day presents new challenges, culminating in a realization that sometimes, takeout is the best option for preserving sanity.
Keyphrase: meal planning struggles
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