As I reflect on my parenting journey, I can’t help but notice how different my style is compared to that of my own mother. While I never dared to speak back to my parents, my children seem to have no qualms about raising their voices during moments of anger. Can you imagine doing that as a child? It’s become a common occurrence that I find myself repeating requests to my kids—often several times—before I get a response. How did it come to this?
With Mother’s Day approaching, it’s hard not to ponder whether I’m doing a better or worse job than my mother did. In truth, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the youthful energy in my home, a sensation I doubt my mother ever experienced. She had a way of commanding respect that I struggle to replicate. But does that indicate I’m failing as a parent?
To be fair, my children aren’t misbehaved—they’re genuinely good kids. They’ve never been the type to throw tantrums in public or cause trouble at school. In fact, they’re quite well-liked and respectful in social situations. So, why do they seem to push my buttons so often?
After particularly challenging episodes of defiance from one or more of my four children, my partner and I often find ourselves discussing the intricate puzzle of parenting. Over a couple of beers, we reminisce about the discipline we faced as children, where any semblance of disrespect was swiftly dealt with. There was a palpable fear of consequences in our upbringing, which seems nonexistent in my household today. My children express their opinions freely, and while it can get noisy, I appreciate that they feel comfortable to speak up.
The dialogues I share with my kids are markedly different from those I had with my mother at their age. They engage in conversations about topics that would have left my mother speechless. From discussing questionable behavior on school trips to sharing experiences that would have made my mother blush, these revelations come up during casual family dinners or car rides.
Moreover, my children frequently express their love for me, often for no particular reason. I vividly recall my first “I love you” to my mother occurring only during my freshman year of college, a realization that weighs heavily on my heart now that she is no longer with me.
Clearly, my kids are growing up in a vastly different environment. Unlike my mother, who didn’t interact much with my friends’ parents or attend school events, I’m actively involved in my children’s lives. Yet, they still exhibit moments of selfishness, rudeness, and even the occasional curse word, which is perplexing.
So, who is truly doing a better job at this mothering thing—my mother or I? Despite her imperfections, I always felt my mother’s fierce love, and she successfully raised kind and capable children. I strive to do the same with my kids, and I believe they feel that love every day.
In essence, I think we both succeeded in our own ways.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there—those who feel triumphant, those who feel they’re struggling, and those hanging on by a thread. We’re in this together.
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Summary
Parenting styles often differ between generations, leading to reflections on past and present practices. While challenges are common, the love and commitment to raising kind and smart children remain a constant.
Keyphrase: parenting comparison
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