Dear well-meaning friends who often say, “The days are long, but the years are short”:
I appreciate your intentions, but I need to express something important. You seem to have overlooked just how lengthy these days can truly feel.
You may have forgotten the early days of motherhood—the jarring start when a 2-year-old demands oatmeal and cartoons at the crack of dawn. You stumble out of bed to prepare that oatmeal, only to find yourself deciphering a series of toddler requests for what feels like an eternity. You comply, adding peanut butter and honey, serving it in the designated yellow bowl with the red spoon, just to be met with: “Mom, I don’t like this. Can I have cereal instead?”
It seems you’ve forgotten.
You may not recall the experience of finally getting a moment to yourself at 4 p.m. only to realize that it’s the first time you’ve really looked in a mirror all day. The remnants of that 5 a.m. oatmeal cling to your yoga pants, which you’ve been wearing since Tuesday, and your hair is an unkempt mess because the baby has been teething, and your partner has been working late, leaving no time for self-care.
You’ve forgotten.
You may not remember what it feels like to have conversations that never reach a conclusion. Life becomes a collection of fragmented thoughts, as you attempt to communicate with other adults yet find it nearly impossible to complete a single sentence.
You’ve forgotten.
Now that I’ve shared my thoughts, let’s turn the focus back to you. And I can already anticipate what’s next. Because it’s undeniably true—I know I too am forgetting.
I’m forgetting that one day, I’ll look back and miss the days when my little ones play outside and get muddy against my better judgment. Right now, those dirty feet are just another chore to tackle before dinner, which I’ll spend an hour preparing only for no one to eat.
But you are right. I do forget.
I forget that this little baby who craves my attention will soon grow into a boy who may shy away from public displays of affection.
I forget that in the future, I’ll have the freedom to enjoy nice dinners out with my partner, and yet I’ll find myself wishing for the interruptions of a child’s whimsical request or a silly story.
I forget that as my children grow up, they will forge their own paths, get married, and chase their dreams. I will be proud, but as I watch them reach milestones, I will feel a deep ache knowing they no longer need me in the same way.
There will come a time when no one asks for oatmeal with peanut butter or that silly red spoon.
But today is not that day.
Today has been exhausting, filled with endless demands and challenges. The children were restless and unruly, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s just how life is right now, and that’s motherhood in all its glory.
Even in your most fulfilling career, difficult days are still part of the journey.
“The days are long, but the years are short.” I promise, there will be more days when I would love to hear your insights about the fleeting years. But today is not one of those days, as you seem to have forgotten how truly long these days can be.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to strap a crying baby to my back while managing a toddler dispute over a Spiderman cup, tackling a mountain of laundry, and preparing yet another dinner. Spoiler alert: it’s likely that hot dogs will be the end result at 8:47 p.m.
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In summary, while the years may fly by, the days of early motherhood can stretch on endlessly, filled with both challenges and profound moments that shape our journey.
Keyphrase: Early motherhood challenges
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