“What’s on your mind, love?” My partner’s inquiry caught me off guard, prompting a brief moment of contemplation. Should I divulge the entirety of my thoughts or stick to my usual, breezy response to keep the conversation light?
“Not much,” I replied, a blatant untruth.
“Just thinking about how the kids are faring with their grandparents,” I added, which was a slight improvement in honesty.
In reality, like many mothers, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts—always. I couldn’t pinpoint my exact thoughts at that moment, but in the five minutes leading up to his question, my mental hamster wheel was spinning furiously.
What was I thinking? Everything and nothing at the same time. I need to grab a new box of contacts before our trip on Monday. Did I overpay the babysitter last week? Is my daughter getting enough vegetables? I missed that writing deadline again. Is my anxiety flaring up? I need to check with my doctor… Speaking of which, does my son need any vaccines? I should contact the pediatrician anyway; I think his preschool requires updated records. Did I even register him for next year? Poor kid really needs new clothes for school.
Oh no, the laundry! Did I remember to switch it from the washer to the dryer? I’ll need to smell it first; it might need rewashing. Ugh, I miss my little boy. I can’t wait to pick him up from the grandparents. I hope he’s doing well today.
Ultimately, that’s what I shared when he asked: just the tip of the iceberg. Not because I couldn’t share more—I absolutely could. He’s my best friend, and he can handle it. I hesitated because this is what “mom brain” feels like—all the time. There’s even a term for it: the mental load.
This is the reason so many mothers feel perpetually exhausted, even when “doing nothing” at home. And for those of us juggling jobs outside the home? The thought alone is exhausting.
You’ve likely witnessed it before: you greet a fellow mom and ask how she is, and the response is, “Tired.” Often, this exhaustion isn’t merely due to lack of sleep. Sometimes it is, but there’s a deeper issue at play. My partner returns home each day, and I feel compelled to ease his burden. I ask him about his day because I care and love him.
Yet, in the back of my mind, my mental hamster wheel continues to spin. Mothers, you know exactly what I mean, right? If we forget to move the laundry, who will? If we neglect the vegetables, the baby simply won’t have any. And those doctor’s appointments, prescription refills, vacation packing lists—all of it resides on that invisible checklist in our minds.
This mental load is a reality we all carry. I’m not claiming it’s a burden that needs fixing, nor am I certain it can be. However, acknowledging its existence is crucial. It’s a real factor contributing to our fatigue, regardless of how much or little we seem to accomplish.
Because everything left undone and everything that requires our attention loops endlessly in our minds—constantly.
Mothers, you are remarkable. You are the unseen yet essential glue that holds everything together. But perhaps we don’t always need to shoulder this burden alone. Next time a spouse, friend, or family member asks, “What’s on your mind?” consider sharing. Lighten your load, even if just momentarily.
And if they respond with confusion, reach out to another mother. Because mothers understand. The weight may be invisible, but it is undoubtedly heavy. So let’s be candid with each other and share the load.
For more insights on starting a family and ensuring fertility, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at Women’s Health. And if you’re looking for more information on home insemination techniques, visit Make A Mom, an authority on this topic, or explore the Impregnator kit designed for at-home insemination.
In summary, the emotional labor mothers undertake significantly contributes to their exhaustion. Recognizing and sharing this burden can help alleviate some of the mental weight we carry.
Keyphrase: emotional labor and maternal fatigue
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”