Date: April 6, 2016
“Mom! What are you doing in there?” My four-year-old son, Max, called out from the other side of the bathroom door.
“Nothing! Just… umm, nothing! I need some privacy, please!” I responded, hoping to maintain some semblance of peace.
“Why are you sitting on the floor reading a magazine?” he countered, swinging the door open to reveal his curious face. I was certain I had locked the door this time.
“Just gathering ideas for our pretend beauty salon!” I quickly replied, standing up and brushing off the dust from my yoga pants. “Now, let’s hunt down those scissors!”
Of course, that was not the truth. I was hiding, overwhelmed by his endless energy. That very morning, we had read countless books, assembled an array of puzzles, and played game after game until I felt as if I were hearing voices urging me to take a break. I was right in the middle of an imaginary haircut when I desperately needed a breather.
This dynamic has unfolded since September when both of my older children began attending school full-time. I have no prior experience with an only child, or at least none that I can recall. My children are 4, 5, and 6, and just as I got used to one, a new little voice would pop up and ask, “Want to play?”
Indeed, there are challenges that come with having three children so close in age. My daily reliance on Zoloft often coincides with my grocery shopping trips. However, at home, my parenting responsibilities are somewhat alleviated. I merely call them when it’s time for dinner, help them with their bike helmets, and see them again at bedtime. Together, they create fairy houses, ride scooters, or, to be honest, engage in fierce battles while I sit on the patio with a book and enjoy a fleeting moment of tranquility.
This year, however, has brought a shift. My youngest now attends preschool three days a week, leaving me with Max for two full days, and it is entirely exhausting.
“Sure, once we finish this stack of books, we can read every other one on the shelf fifty times!”
“Absolutely, let’s play some more! Everyone knows the first 15 rounds of Uno are just warm-up!”
“By all means, let’s play ‘Mom is a Jungle Gym’ again!”
There is no escape, no “off” switch. He follows me around the house like a lioness on the hunt.
What I find most intriguing is that many friends with only children often express guilt over their choice to stop at one. They feel they are taking the easy path.
Good news, parents of an only child! I conducted extensive (and somewhat informal) research and discovered that you can cast aside that guilt along with any hope of sneaking away for a moment of peace in the bathroom during daylight hours.
Despite the challenges, this focused time with Max has allowed me to see him as a distinct individual, rather than just the younger sibling. We sit together to do puzzles, practice letters, and engage in uninterrupted conversations. It’s a unique experience, and I find myself envious of those parents who get to know their only child so intimately from the beginning.
The unexpected upside of this one-on-one time is that it has encouraged me to slow down and plan for similar moments with my other two children in the future. Not right away, mind you, but eventually—once I’ve had a chance to recharge.
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In summary, parenting an only child offers a unique opportunity for deep connection and understanding. While the challenges are real, the rewards can be profound, providing a chance to truly know each child as an individual.
Keyphrase: parenting an only child
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