By: Sarah Thompson
To the mother who has traversed further down the path of parenting:
I’ve come to believe that I can mostly chuckle at the delightful chaos that comes with raising children. I can laugh when my toddler spills the dog’s water on the floor for what feels like the umpteenth time, or when my 4-year-old knocks on my door post-bedtime—again. Or when my second-grader suddenly decides he requires my culinary skills to prepare his lunch just five minutes before the bus arrives.
Yet, there are moments when laughter eludes me. After the third time the dog’s dish is upended, I find myself fantasizing about launching it across the room, imagining it shattering against the wall in a glorious explosion. There’s the constant bickering with a child who seems to possess an innate ability to argue like a seasoned lawyer. The eye-rolls, the sassy comebacks, the sibling rivalry, and the noise that feels unending can be overwhelming.
There are petty disputes between two adults who genuinely care for each other, leading us to contemplate using a pillow in a rather unkind manner—if only for a moment too long. There are those stretches of mundane, repetitive days that can spiral into feelings of discontent—February in Indiana, anyone?
Dear fellow mother of older children, assure me that this disarray is normal. Have you walked this same path? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel, or does it at least become less jagged with time? Let me know that I’m not alone in these feelings.
There are hours, days, and even weeks where I feel like every other mother is doing it better, easier, and smarter. Their kids seem to listen and comply without question. They don’t get into trivial arguments with their partners. They don’t slam doors in frustration when the noise becomes unbearable. They aren’t losing sleep over finances.
At times, I feel utterly inadequate, frustrated, and exhausted. So, dear mother ahead of me, remind me that your children didn’t always listen or follow directions perfectly. Tell me you’ve had disputes, bickered, and occasionally dreamed of a deserted island for solitude.
Please reassure me that it improves, or at the very least, becomes more manageable. Both would be wonderful. Share with me that your kids didn’t end up as notorious delinquents but grew into responsible members of society, and that the chaos you experienced ultimately strengthened your family and marriage.
In this age of social media, it’s easy to feel envious of those mothers whose homes appear immaculate, whose laundry is always folded, and whose meal prep is Pinterest-worthy. In moments of self-doubt, I find myself wishing to be like those women, even resenting them at times.
Dear wise mother further along in this journey, remind me that those perfect images are illusions—unicorns, if you will, beautiful in concept yet illusory in reality. Reassure me that I, like all women, embody some of the traits I admire in those seemingly flawless mothers. Encourage me to develop the qualities I aspire to possess.
To the mothers who are newer to this journey than I am, take heart. If you are nurturing your little ones, providing sustenance, ensuring their safety, guiding their emotional and spiritual growth, assisting with homework, and showering them with love, you are doing wonderfully. You will make it through—at least until your oldest reaches the age of 8.
As for what lies beyond that, I am still seeking wisdom from those who are further along.
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Summary
The journey of motherhood can be filled with chaos, frustration, and self-doubt. Many mothers feel overwhelmed, especially when comparing themselves to others. It’s important to remember that parenting struggles are normal and shared by many. Support from those further along the journey is invaluable, as is the reassurance that it gets easier over time.
Keyphrase: motherhood struggles
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