You may have heard the common advice, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Perhaps not, given that you’re only four months old. However, as your mother, I assure you, it’s a widely accepted recommendation.
Now, about this 32-minute duration you’re attempting to label as a “nap”—it doesn’t really allow for much rest on my part. Unlike your father, who can fall asleep in an instant, I require a bit more time. You see, I typically spend around 31 minutes pondering what to prepare for dinner, contemplating how to remove that stubborn permanent marker from your sister, and reflecting on questionable choices from my college years. This leaves me with a mere one minute before you awaken. Yes, I have an English degree, but let’s consider this your first lesson in math.
Let’s set sleep aside for a moment. Once you finally do drift off, there are other responsibilities to tackle. For starters, I need to let the dog outside, shower, and sanitize your teething toys, the floor, and any surface that has been victim to your spit-up. A meal wouldn’t go amiss either, and honestly, those eight loads of laundry on the bed could use some attention. Can I request 90 minutes? An hour would suffice. I’d love to have something more substantial than cheese slices for lunch.
Every child is unique, I understand that. Yet, I can’t help but recall how your sister was capable of napping for two hours, no matter where she was. When we decided to have a second child, we somewhat imagined more of the same. Back then, we thought this would be manageable! Little did we know. It appears that parents are permitted only one child who sleeps well—check the manual; it’s in there—and our limit has clearly been reached.
When the first signs of exhaustion began to appear beneath my eyes, people suggested I must be doing something wrong. “He should be in a routine by now,” they mentioned. “You must make him sleep.”
Ah, yes! Make you sleep! How had I not realized that sooner? Surely, there must be strategies to lengthen your naps.
I read about white noise, so I set up a powerful fan in your room on turbo speed, along with a high-volume app that mimics the sound of an airplane.
I also explored the concept of silence, shutting off those devices for a few days, only to have you awaken to the sound of the garbage truck, the clothes dryer, and the gentle mewing of a nearby cat. You napped for a brief 20 minutes instead of 32.
Then I learned that you might prefer being close to me rather than lying alone in your crib, so I held you as you slept. Surprise! It turns out, 32 minutes was all the closeness you desired.
Next, I read about motion, so I strapped you into your car seat and drove around aimlessly for miles. When you woke, I found we were 32 minutes away from home.
I focused on timing so intently, monitoring your face for the moment your eyelids began to droop. “Do not put him down too early,” they cautioned. “Do not put him down when he’s overtired,” they advised. “There’s a window,” they insisted. Well, little one, I still have not deciphered your personal “window of wakefulness,” but I can accurately predict when those droopy eyes will snap back open. I could win that bet every time.
I understand being a baby is no easy task. The comfort of your cozy womb is gone, you can’t control your own head, and teething is no walk in the park. I’m on your side, kiddo, truly, but I’m going to need more than a 32-minute break to summon the right amount of sympathy.
Until that day arrives, I’ll be the one at the grocery store, anxiously rocking your stroller as we near that critical half-hour mark. I’ll be the one dodging eye contact as you peek from beneath the canopy because once you spot me, it’s game over.
And when you break into a grin, I’ll remind myself just how fortunate I am. It’s lucky you’re so irresistibly adorable when you’re awake.
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Summary:
In this humorous yet relatable narrative, a mother reflects on the challenges of parenting a four-month-old who only manages to nap for 32 minutes. Despite her attempts to extend these brief moments of sleep, she grapples with the realities of motherhood, the quirks of her child, and the hope for a longer nap. The article highlights the exhaustion and affection that come with caring for a baby while also weaving in useful links for readers interested in artificial insemination and fertility.
Keyphrase: short baby naps
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