Dear Beloved Children,
In the unfortunate event that I meet my end—perhaps due to heatstroke at that yoga class my so-called “friends” have coerced me into attending—here are ten essential life lessons I hope you carry with you.
With love,
Mom
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Avoid Being a Jerk.
The first and foremost advice is simple: don’t be a jerk. This term refers to those who feel superior and act without regard for the feelings of others. Consider the world around you: those who spread hate, like extremist groups or the girl from your fourth-grade class who excluded you from her birthday party, embody this behavior. Remember, jerks are everywhere—whether at school, on your sports team, or even at family gatherings. -
Never Assume You Know Everything.
While some individuals might inherently display jerk-like tendencies, many are shaped by their circumstances or upbringing. When someone behaves unkindly toward you, consider what might be happening in their lives. A little empathy can go a long way; if they persist in their behavior, then it’s time to move on. -
Stand Your Ground.
If a bully decides to push you around, don’t hesitate to defend yourself. While teachers often advocate for verbal conflict resolution, sometimes you need to take a stand. Firmly tell them to back off, and if they don’t listen, you have every right to stand up for yourself. -
Refrain from Absolute Judgments.
Be wary of declaring, “I would NEVER.” Life has a way of presenting unexpected challenges, and we cannot truly know our reactions until we face them. Avoid hastily judging others, as their circumstances may be beyond your comprehension. -
Say No to Drugs.
Let’s be real—doing drugs rarely leads to positive outcomes. Just look at the lives of famous individuals like Elvis or Whitney Houston. The risks far outweigh any temporary appeal.
Now, for the Do’s:
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Check Yourself Before You Leave.
Before exiting any restroom, ensure your teeth are clear of food, your shoes are free of toilet paper, and your zipper is up. A true friend will discreetly inform you if something is amiss—wouldn’t you want the same? -
Share the Spotlight.
Pass the ball to everyone, not just your closest friends. Give that teammate who might fumble a chance. Being inclusive fosters team spirit and helps everyone feel valued. -
Be with Those Who Accept You.
You are all wonderfully weird, and it’s crucial to surround yourself with people who embrace every facet of you. The right friends will love you—quirks and all—without judgment. -
Accept Dance Invitations.
When someone musters the courage to ask you to dance, don’t hesitate. It’s a simple act that can lead to joy. So, get up and dance! -
Heed the Wisdom of Elders.
We’ve lived through a variety of experiences, from breakups to mistakes, and we’ve learned valuable lessons along the way. Listen to us—we may have insights that could help you navigate your own challenges.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really must prepare for that yoga class.
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In summary, navigate life with kindness, empathy, and an open heart. These lessons will serve you well.
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