In a recent interaction, my daughter, Emily, approached me with her beloved Lisa Frank coloring book, showcasing a character with exaggerated features. “Do you like her?” she inquired, a question that has become increasingly common as she engages with depictions of girls and women across various media platforms, from advertisements to animated series. This inquiry signals her growing association between physical appearance and acceptance.
While I find this trend concerning, I often respond with a vague, “She’s fine,” fearing that outright dismissal might lead her to believe I am dismissing her interests. Yet, Emily’s fascination with beauty is clear; she pushes further, asking, “Do you want to be like her?” My instinct is to affirm her curiosity, so I cautiously reply, “Sure.” Her authoritative tone as she advises me on how to achieve that look is both amusing and alarming, especially given her young age of four.
Reflecting on my own upbringing in the 1980s, I realize my mother had a more relaxed approach towards my beauty interests. I remember playing with styling toys and expressing my desire to be a hairdresser without her showing any concern. She focused instead on nurturing my education and well-being, leaving me free to explore my interests without the weight of societal expectations about appearance.
Despite my mother’s seemingly carefree attitude, I now question whether I can afford to be as nonchalant. The cultural context has shifted dramatically; today’s media is saturated with ideals of beauty that can overwhelm young girls. Streaming platforms abound with shows that often present female characters as one-dimensional and overly focused on aesthetics. Even when I try to redirect Emily’s attention, she gravitates towards content that reinforces these beauty standards.
As I navigate this complex landscape, I find myself sending mixed signals. I appreciate the opportunity to dress Emily in beautiful outfits, and I too enjoy the experience of feeling attractive. However, this raises questions about objectification and whether I am unconsciously encouraging her to seek validation based on appearance alone. It is troubling to think that she might internalize the belief that her worth is contingent upon her looks.
I have reservations about the potential implications of her developing a preoccupation with beauty. I do not want her to feel inadequate if she doesn’t meet arbitrary beauty standards, nor do I want her to judge her peers based on superficial criteria. This internalization can foster unkindness towards herself and others.
Soon, I will take Emily to a popular theme park where she will meet her favorite princesses. However, I consciously chose not to book a makeover experience for her, as I am uncomfortable with the idea of strangers emphasizing her appearance through glitter and accolades. I prefer that she receives love and admiration as she is, without conditions tied to beauty.
My hope is for Emily to connect with strong female characters that embody resilience and independence. Recently, I noticed her pretending to be Rey from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, a character that I believe can inspire her in positive ways.
In conclusion, while I recognize that play and imagination are vital for childhood development, I am determined to shield Emily from harmful beauty standards that can distort her self-image and relationships with others. By fostering a deeper understanding of character and strength, I aim to help her cultivate a sense of self that is not solely defined by looks.
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Keyphrase: Helping my daughter navigate beauty standards
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