Hello, I’m a mom, and I’m here to share my experience with alcohol dependency. At first glance, I might not fit the stereotype of an alcoholic. As a 36-year-old, middle-class woman with a solid education and deeply rooted in my community, I don’t resemble the traditional image of a struggling drinker. However, I’ve come to acknowledge that I possess the genetic predisposition for alcoholism.
My family history is riddled with alcohol use. My father, an alcoholic, managed to quit drinking when I was an infant. I never felt ashamed of his struggle, viewing it instead as a genetic condition rather than a personal failure. Unfortunately, I’ve inherited that same flawed propensity to “turn off” my drinking.
My relationship with alcohol has been tumultuous, akin to being in a toxic relationship that I couldn’t seem to escape. I often found myself caught in a cycle: indulging heavily in alcohol, promising myself a break, then indulging again, only to find myself unwell. This repetitive cycle led me to establish strict rules for myself: drinking only on weekends, avoiding hard liquor, and sticking to beer. However, these self-imposed boundaries proved ineffective, as my issue was not about frequency or type, but rather about the way my brain processes alcohol.
When I consume even a small amount of alcohol, my mind responds by urging me to drink more, leading to questionable decisions like challenging someone to a dance-off at a bar. It took time for me to recognize my relationship with alcohol as an allergy. I’d have periods of moderation that gave me a false sense of security, but I was always uncertain about which version of myself would show up when I went out: the moderate drinker or the one who would consume an entire bottle.
While I was never legally dependent on alcohol and my drinking habits didn’t disrupt my life significantly, I came to understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease. The cravings for balance can lead to increased consumption, and if I continued to justify my choices based on what I hadn’t done yet, I risked moving closer to a darker path.
I didn’t hit rock bottom, but I could see it looming ahead, and I chose to end my relationship with alcohol before it was too late. Sobriety has proven to be a significant challenge. In our current society, alcohol is pervasive; it’s at social gatherings, sports events, and even children’s parties. Opting out of drinking often leads to awkward assumptions about pregnancy or moral superiority, which can be uncomfortable.
Without the option of liquid courage, I have turned to prayer, meditation, and indulging in comfort foods as new coping mechanisms. If you find yourself in a similar battle with alcohol, I want to share a few affirmations:
- You are not defined by your struggles.
- You are not failing.
- You are not alone.
Perhaps today is the day you acknowledge your own “off” switch isn’t functioning correctly. Be courageous in your journey. And when the world feels overwhelming, know you can join me at any event where snacks abound—no drinks necessary.
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In summary, acknowledging and accepting your struggles with alcohol can be the first step towards a healthier life. The journey may not be easy, but you are not alone in this process.
Keyphrase: alcohol dependency and recovery
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