Parenting Insights
The Internal Reflection on Desiring Another Child
By Emily Hart
Updated: March 14, 2023
Originally Published: March 14, 2023
Recently, my energetic preschooler decided to excavate for dinosaur fossils in the potting soil. In a series of unfortunate events, he managed to flush a toy T-Rex down the toilet and stripped off his diaper, opting for a spontaneous bathroom break on the kitchen floor. As I chased after him while simultaneously cleaning up the mess that spanned three rooms, I caught myself muttering exasperated phrases like, “Seriously? What are you doing?!”
My children consume my energy reserves by 7 a.m. every single day, which is precisely why I rely on copious amounts of coffee to keep pace. After the birth of my second child, my partner and I waved the white flag, declaring ourselves done with the baby phase.
Yet, every now and then, I encounter a newborn—whether at the playground, during school pickups, or even at medical appointments or in social media updates. It’s in these moments that my hormones initiate a mental tug-of-war with my rational side. The dialogue usually unfolds like this:
Hormonal Tug-of-War
Hormones: You know what would be amazing?
Brain: A good nap, perhaps?
Hormones: No—getting pregnant again! Just think about it: the beautiful belly, the rush of love and anticipation, and that delightful newborn scent, especially from the top of their little heads.
Brain: Are you out of your mind?!
Hormones: I’m just filled with baby fever! I want to be pregnant!
Brain: Oh yes, let’s look forward to sleepless nights, financial strain, and unsolicited advice from family. Sounds wonderful!
Hormones: You’re being ridiculous.
Brain: Just keeping it real…
Hormones: But remember the fun of “let’s-make-a-baby” intimacy? We could relive that!
Brain: Or you could finally start running to shed those stubborn ten pounds.
At this point, I often question whether my husband and I were too hasty in our decision to stop expanding our family. Could my hormones possibly win this debate? As I listen to their heated exchanges, the arguments boil down to simple terms lobbed back and forth.
Arguments for and Against
Hormones: Babies!
Brain: Finances!
Hormones: Great intimate moments!
Brain: Sleep deprivation!
Hormones: Cuddles!
Brain: Your other children!
Hormones: A break from periods!
Brain: The discomfort of childbirth!
Hormones: The miracle of life!
Brain: The miracle of peace and quiet!
Ultimately, my rational side comes out on top, and I dismiss the longing for another child. However, my hormones quickly pivot:
Hormones: You know, we could still get our baby fix without the hassle of pregnancy.
Brain: I’m intrigued…
Hormones: Remember how Dana gushed over Ann’s pregnancy?
Brain: Oh, I see where you’re going with this. We could encourage our friends to have kids!
Hormones: Exactly! Now you’re thinking!
Thus, my clever mind and my hormones concocted a plan that allows me to remain childless while reveling in the joys of baby showers and the enchanting aroma of newborns.
For those navigating similar feelings or contemplating their fertility journey, consider exploring resources like this guide on couples’ fertility journeys for intracervical insemination. Additionally, boosting fertility supplements can be beneficial, and March of Dimes offers excellent support on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, the conflicting desires of motherhood can create confusion and humor, as we navigate our feelings about expanding our families while managing the chaos of parenthood.
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