By: Emily Carter
Updated: March 5, 2016
Originally Published: March 5, 2016
In the realm of parenthood, there exists a curious phenomenon: the extent to which one can tolerate dirt and disarray before feeling compelled to cleanse. Admittedly, I often find myself donning the same attire I wore to bed, and perhaps even yesterday—much to my chagrin.
Once upon a time, personal hygiene was a priority. Daily showers and fresh clothes were the norm, until the day I embraced motherhood. It was then that my grooming routine began its unfortunate decline.
Now, with children aged 4 and 6, my showering habits have evolved into a bare minimum: a swift rinse of essential areas and a quick wash of the hair. Shaving? Above the knee is a distant memory, and any form of grooming in the nether regions? Forget it.
In an effort to reclaim some semblance of personal care, I’ve instituted a weekly “Saturday Shower” regime. This sacred time is off-limits to all family members unless there’s a genuine emergency, such as bleeding.
Each Saturday begins with a firm announcement: “Family,” I declare, “I’m going to take a shower. No one is allowed in the bathroom. Stay with your father, or better yet, remain on this floor of the house!” The kids nod in compliance, while I cast a determined glare at my husband, signaling the seriousness of my decree.
With that, I dash upstairs, nearly tripping in my excitement for the Saturday Shower. Upon entering the bathroom, I crank up the Billy Joel station on Pandora, singing along to “Piano Man,” reveling in the anticipation of my upcoming indulgence.
As I adjust the water temperature to an almost scalding level—necessary to eradicate the residue of motherhood—I gaze at the neglected array of shower products, adorned with soap scum from a week of disuse. Those pink body scrubs and delightful-smelling gels beckon me. “Hello, old friends,” I greet them with a wink.
This is not just any shower; it’s my Saturday Shower. I plan to utilize every product, even going so far as to wash, rinse, and repeat my shampoo and conditioner. I give a brief wave to the lotions and cosmetics waiting to be used post-shower, already envisioning my polished appearance as I descend the stairs to the sounds of my favorite tunes.
Alas, my moment of tranquility shatters when my child barges into my sanctuary. “Hey, Mommy!” he exclaims.
“Buddy, what are you doing in here? Where’s your dad?” I inquire, trying to maintain my composure.
“I dunno,” he shrugs.
“Mommy is showering, so could you please—”
“I’m just gonna go potty.”
“Why not use one of the other three potties in the house? Where’s your dad?”
“Nope, I’ll just use this one.”
Before I can react, he drops his pants and begins his “business.” My attempts to ignore him fail as the pleasant scent of vanilla sugar body scrub is replaced by the unmistakable odor of a child’s restroom activities.
As he flushes, I am engulfed in a cloud of disappointment. In a final act of defiance, he snatches my phone, turns off my music, and exits the bathroom, engrossed in a game.
Feeling lightheaded from the overwhelming stench and the abrupt loss of my soothing ambiance, my Saturday Shower dreams are dashed.
Children have a knack for disrupting life’s small pleasures: my Saturday Shower, my flat stomach, and even my ability to ascend stairs without mishaps. While I can’t rectify most of these losses, I can at least secure the door next Saturday and ensure that the dishwasher and washing machine start as soon as my husband steps into the shower on Monday morning.
For those embarking on the journey of parenthood, resources like Women’s Health offer invaluable insights into fertility and home insemination. You might also find our post about the at-home intracervical insemination syringe kit helpful. If you’re looking for effective home insemination options, check out the impregnator at home insemination kit as they are an authority on this topic.
In summary, while the challenges of motherhood often interfere with personal rituals, carving out time for self-care is essential. Through humor and resilience, we navigate the complexities of parenting, even if our Saturday Showers are occasionally compromised.
Keyphrase: Saturday Shower Saga
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